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appeared to me important. Give me, blessed Jesus, I would often say, give me a sense of thy pardoning mercy. Let me but know that thou lovest me, and I will cheerfully sustain poverty and distress, but a wounded spirit who can bear? I continued in this desponding state, for a number of weeks; utterly destitute of consolation, until I was enabled to make an entire surrender of myself to the Lord. All my legal expectations vanished, and the language of my heart was: "Here Lord, I give myself to thee,

his mercy would never reach me.ligion was the only thing which My estimation of the world seemed to be instantaneously changed. I became indifferent both to its scorn and applause. At that moment the resolution was formed that I would seek the Lord. I then felt determined while I lived that I would supplicate the throne of divine grace; and plead for pardon continually. And should years revolve, and even the hour of death come, before the Lord appeared for me; yet I would persist in my application, and if I perished, I would perish at his feet. From that time until I found peace in believing, my distress increased.

"I knew that I had despised and rejected the Saviour; that I had resisted the admonitions dictated

by parental affection, and although the light had shone around me, yet I had loved darkness rather than light, because my deeds were evil. I now feared that darkness and misery would be my inevitable portion. I had broken the holy law of God, and its awful thunders aroused my conscience from its slumbers. I felt that I was condemned; and I acknowledged the justice of the sentence that consigned me to everlasting ruin. Often did I fall on my knees in an agony of distress. I hardly dared to utter the words that were ready to burst from my lips. Could I plead for mercy? Could I expect forgiveness, who had so long slighted the overtures of pardoning grace? My heart appeared to me harder than a rock. I thought myself dead to every tender emotion. I knew that my feelings and views were essentially changed, but yet, I could not believe that my exercises were of the right kind. I feared that my convictions were all superficial, and a mere momentary excitement, entirely distinct from the exercise of gracious affections. And yet I was conscious that re

"Tis all that I can do."

the time of thy love. The peace "It was then, glorious Immanuel, of God now took possession of my

bosom.

were dissipated; and I felt as All my fears at once though I was in a new world.

My rapture seem'd a pleasing dream, "The Joy appear'd so great."

"A satisfaction unknown before, pervaded my soul. All nature smiled around me Every surrounding object seemed to proclaim the goodness of God. O! thou precious Saviour, I was ready to exclaim, hast thou indeed taken my feet out of the horrible pit and miry clay! Hast thou indeed redeemed my life from destruction, and crowned me with loving kindness and tender mercy! To thee, then, blessed Jesus, I devote my life. Do with me as thou pleasest. Make me any thing that may seem good in thy sight, only let me be engaged in thy service.

"Such were my reflections. And never shall I forget the interesting moment when I followed my divine Saviour into his liquid grave. If ever I enjoyed communion with God; if ever the world appeared to me less than nothing and vanity, it was then. I enjoyed a peace which I believe the collected universe could not have disturbed. It was a sweet tranquil

lity produced by a consciousness | for him. There were seasons

that I was in the presence of God, and that he viewed me with approbation. From this period the Bible became the man of my counsel; and the people of God appeared to me, to be the excellent of the earth in whom was my delight."

Having given himself to the Lord, Mr. Freeman believed that it was both his duty and interest to join himself to a Christian Church. He made a publick profession of his faith at Barnstable, but afterwards he became a member of the Second Baptist Church in Boston, under the pastoral care of Rev. Dr. Baldwin. His connexion with this people was a source of mutual happiness and advantage. His correct deportment and enlightened zeal, which were associated with unaffected modesty, gave him a large place in the affections of his brethren. While he was thus deservedly beloved, he was growing in grace and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, under the ministry of one whom he never ceased to venerate and love. Without feeling the least alienation of attachment from his Pastor and Christian friends, circumstances occurred which induced him to solicit a dismission to the Third Baptist Church in Boston. His request was kindly granted, and he continued a highly valued member of that body, until, as we confidently trust, he was called by death to join the Church triumphant.

As he had, under a deep impression of the mercies of God, expressed a strong desire to dedicate himself to his service, it will not be difficult to believe that a consecration of his life to the work of the ministry was to him a subject of long and painful solicitude. For more than four years his mind was perplexed in attempting to ascertain the path of duty which Providence had prescribed

when he seemed to have an irresistible conviction that he ought to preach the Gospel, and then again, the work appeared so great to him, that he sunk under the most distressing feelings of despondency.

An extract from the record which he has left of the state of his mind at this period will perhaps be read with interest. Daving expressed great fears lest he should run before he was sent, and thus be guilty of presumption in taking upon him a work to which he was not called, he says, “I think, if I know myself in this case, a desire to do the will of God, and to submit entirely to his guidance, is the governing principle of my heart. If I am under a mistake, I pray God to convince me of it; but I do think that I should infinitely prefer a large participation in all that variety of distress which has been the portion of the most distinguished champions of the cross, with a consciousness that I was engaged in the service to which the Lord had appointed me, than to be able to call this little globe my own with all its pleasures, honors, and emoluments." And yet, at last, he came to a conclusion which was afflictive to himself, that it was not his duty to become a preacher of the Gospel. Had he engaged in the work of the ministry, he would no doubt have been one of the most popular preachers in our country, but the humble opinion which he formed of his own talents and attainments, and the qualifications which he thought ministers at the present day ought to possess, finally settled the question which had so long agitated his mind. Had there been the same facilities for obtaining literary and theological knowledge, which now exist, it is believed that Mr. F. would have given himself to a work that was most congenial to

his mental habits, and to all histributed liberally when pecuniary feelings as a man of piety. aid was required. Tract Societies, Domestick and Foreign Missions, Theological Institutions; and Sabbath Schools, from their first establishment, found in him a generous, efficient, and constant friend. Not only were his tongue, and his pen occasionally and successfully employed in recommending these benevolent associations, but his purse was ever open to their just claims. There are beneficiaries now pursuing their stud

pying respectable stations, who will never forget the delicate, but timely and substantial aid which he afforded them in their literary and theological pursuits. He took an active part in the promotion of Sabbath schools when they were first organized in Boston, and pleaded their importance and utility in several communications from his pen, when many good men viewed them with indiffer

He did not suppose, however, that if he was not a minister, knowledge would be of no importance to him. Nor did he think there was no sphere of usefulness for him in the Church of God. He regularly appropriated certain portions of his time for the purpose of extending his information on literary and religious subjects. He composed many discourses, which, had they been delivered, would have been heard with profound at-ies, and ministers who are occutention. And he adopted one practice which his biographer would venture to recommend to others. The remarks with which he so frequently delighted and edified his hearers at conference meetings were the result of previous meditation. Some of his exhortations which produced such an intense interest as to be distinctly remembered after a lapse of twelve years, have been found in substance among his papers.ence. He assisted in the formaAnd why should not christians, if tion of the Howard Benevolent they mean to be edified themselves, Society, and for several years or to instruct others, meditate on from its commencement was its some subject, in the anticipation secretary. Indeed, in works of of speaking at a social religious compassion he abounded. He meeting? If it be admitted that not only endeavoured to do good ministers ought to meditate on to the souls, but to the bodies divine truth before they preach, of men. And his deeds of kindwe can see no peculiar advantage ness were not circumscribed to which private brethren possess that his friends, or the members of the renders it more unnecessary for church with which he was connectthem when they offer a word of ex- ed. hortation. Were the example of the deceased in this instance imitated, conference meetings would be greatly more interesting; they would be much more generally attended, and more conducive to general edification.

Mr. Freeman manifested a lively interest in the pious and charitable institutions of the present age. When the object was good, and practicable, calculation might always be made on his support. His charity was not confined to expressions of good will. He con

The writer of this memoir had at different times the happiness and the honor of being the almoner of his bounty and the only intimation he received was, that it might be best to relieve those who in their lonely and destitute condition, had no friends to whom they could with confidence look for aid.

It is possible however for an individual to be active in publick charities, and yet lamentably defective in personal religion. He may shine abroad like a star of the first magnitude, but at home he

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having had mortifying evidence in my own experience of the depraviHety of human nature, I am conscious that the annexed Resolutions will not only be disregarded, but forgotten, unless God is pleased of his boundless goodness, to sustain me by the energy of his spirit, and create within my bosom a hearty and sincere love to holiness; and a hatred and detestation of iniquity. I would humbly supplicate his presence, to enlighten my understanding, to purify my passions, and to direct all my actions for Christ's sake."

emits no cheering light to bless his
family circle. Such was not the
character of the deceased.
was a bright example of every per-
sonal and domestick virtue. In
the endearing relations which he
sustained as a husband and a
father, the benign tendency of his
religious principles was conspicu-
ous. He not only maintained the
practice of family devotion; but
he walked so circumspectly before
his house, that those who dwelt
under his roof felt convinced he
was a man of God. Several young
men who acquired from him their
knowledge of business will always
remember his exemplary conduct,
his judicious counsels, and his
gen-
tle restraints with gratitude. They
became a part of his household when
they had not the least concern for
the salvation of their souls, but
they did not leave it, until they
had given evidence of their conver-
sion to God, and had made a pub-
lick profession of their faith.

Mr. Freeman was fully persuaded that religion must have its root in the heart, or there will be no good fruit in the life. He therefore kept his heart with much diligence. He watched its motions with vigilance. He often retired from scciety to attend to the humiliating but salutary process of self-examination. He caused the principles and motives of his conduct to pass before him in review, while he also measured his conduct

by the unerring standard of truth. No one can read his Diary without being satisfied that like the Psalmist, he thought on his ways, he turned his feet unto the divine testimonies, he made haste and delayed not to keep the commandments. One extract from it will be sufficient to confirm the ceding remarks.

pre

"Being convinced of my absolute inability to think a good thought, or perform a right action, without divine assistance, and

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No. 5.

Resolved, To live so at all times, as I think is best in my devout frames, and when I have the clearest notions of the gospel and another world. Edwards.

No. 6.

Resolved, To maintain the strict

ing.

No. 7.

looking into the state of my soul, that I may know whether I have truly an interest in Christ, or not; that, when I come to die, I may not have any negligence respecting this to repent of. Edwards. No. 12.

Resolved, Never to make any

est temperance in eating and drink-positive engagement: but in all Edwards. cases to promise conditionally, and to be as scrupulous in the performance, as would be the case if my veracity were pledged for the accomplishment. Original. No. 13.

Resolved, Never to do any thing, which if I should see in another, I should count a just occasion to despise him for, or to think any way the more meanly of him.

No. 8.

Edwards.

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Resolved, To endeavour to my Resolved, Never to express a utmost to deny whatever is not suspicion of any person's motives, most agreeable to a good, and uni- though his conduct may be censversally sweet, and benevolent, urable, unless it be of a very quiet, peaceable, contented, easy, flagitious character. But to concompassionate, generous, humble, sider whether under the same cirmodest, submissive, obliging, dili- cumstances, I might not, with ingent, industrious, charitable, even, nocent intentions, guided by the patient, moderate, forgiving, and impulse of the moment, without sincere temper, and to do at all viewing the consequences times what such a temper would nected with the act, have conductlead me to ;-examine strictly ev-ed in the same manner. ery week, whether I have done so. Edwards.

No. 11.

Resolved, Constantly, with the utmost niceness, and diligence, and the strictest scrutiny, to be

No. 16.

con

Original.

Resolved, Never to be precipitate in forming an opinion, nor assent to any sentiment, without consideration. Original.

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