"But, darling, Jim doesn't care for me, and I can't say yes like he can, even to please you."

"Tell her, Jim."

"I do love you, Sissie, with all my heart, if you'll only believe it."

"You'll be so happy, and I'll be happy too, perhaps happier than you." Debbie's face looked like an angel's as she talked, and I slipped away from Jim and knelt down beside her.

"If you'll only live Debbie, we 'll be all happy together," I sobbed.

"Don't cry, dear; there's nothing to cry for. I might have known I was dying by inches, but I did want to live," and she laid her hand on Jim's head, for he had knelt down by the other side of the bed. "I don't want to live now, for I'd always be delicate and a fine handful for you, but I'll be quite well soon, and I'll never forget you." Debbie's blue eyes rested once more on me and then on Jim, and she whispered, "Kiss me." We both kissed her, and then she just put one hand in mine and one in Jim's and slept her life away. I was ill myself afterwards, and Jim fetched his good old mother to come round to nurse me, and he came and sat with me every evening. One evening, when I was mending and able to talk, he told me all about it. We had been talking of Debbie, and he told

me how the grass was beginning to look fresh and green on her grave. So I asked him if he hadn't ever cared for Debbie more than me. He said No, he had always loved me best from the first, though he only sometimes fancied that I cared for him. He knew that Debbie loved him, and so he wouldn't speak to me, for he knew all along that she was dying fast, and he couldn't bear to give her any pain; and sometimes he thought that I guessed what he meant, and was pleased that he should wait a while, and sometimes he didn't know what to think. Only he felt all the time that it was kinder to Debbie to let things go on; for though he loved me, she was just like a sister to him.

Just as soon as I could be moved, his mother took me to her home, and then when her husband died, the dear old soul came to live with Jim and me. My 'Ria remembers her well enough.

Jim has got on ever so well since that time, being so steady and hardworking, and he's had a shop of his own for these many years.

Now I think that's all I've got to tell, and I'm right glad that my writing's over. It's took me all day, and it's about the hardest day's work that ever I did, and I don't envy them writing fellows one bit if this is how they feel after their day's work. ANNIE F. PERRAM.

T

HE world is full of sad and disappointed ones; and their sadness and disappointment have come to them by many different paths.

To some has come the loss of money, and all the dreams of possessing what money can procure have vanished, To some has come the loss of position, and their place as regards honour knoweth them no more.

Some have loved and lost, and life's banquet has been snatched from their lips; and others who hoped that some day such a banquet would be spread for them have outlived that hope, yet none the less do they remember it as a hope, and grieve, it may be with bitterness, it may be only with chastened sorrow, that it has not been fulfilled.

Here is a man who has toiled, and toiled, and never could make a fortune, while this one and that, with perhaps less cleverness than his, have prospered in all that they have touched, and that with very little toil.

Here is a girl with a heart full of capacities for love, with great yearnings for love; she sees this one and that chosen, and herself passed by-none wanting her heart, none her suitor, to beg for her as his very own.

Here is one whose gifts entitle him to position, to honour, and to all that they can confer, but he sees very cripples in comparison with himself pass him on the road of life, hobbling along with some crutches, which he does not need, and the use of which he would despise.

One has a childless home-another no personal attraction that she should be desired-another no longed-for retreat from the worry and bustle of life; and all these, and many similarly circumstanced, are longing for what they have not got-and cannot get, and never perhaps will get-but as yet they have no peace. They have not realised-"This or that (whatever it may be) is not FOR ME."

I should like to speak a word in season to him that is weary, to bind up the broken-hearted, to strengthen the feeble knees, to draw some of the way-worn ones under the shadow of a rock in a weary land.

The one great Rock casting the only true restful shadow over the burning sands is Christ. In Him, and in Him only, can the soul's rest-the heart's rest, life's rest-be found; but, bearing this in mind, there are some thoughts which may be helpful to us in all these disappointments and sorrows, and upon one of these I wish to dwell now.

The thought is a very simple one; it is comprised in those three little words-and especially the last of them: Not for ME.

Now, first of all, let me dwell for a moment on this little word me. Indeed, all that I have to say depends upon the emphasis you lay upon this little wordupon the power of isolation that you give it-upon its being able to separate you from all the world beside. while you are considering your sorrow, or trouble, or loss, whatever it may be that is the cause of your depression or grief.

There are two great mistakes which we are liable to make when we think of ourselves; and, as is so often curiously the case, they are in diametrically opposite directions.

The first mistake is that we are likely to make ourselves everybody, the second is that we are likely to make ourselves out to be nobody.

The first comes from pride and inordinate selfesteem-the second from a mistaken humility, and from our not having that proper measure of selfestimation without which we can never take our place aright in the great family of man, and in the varied circumstances which fall to his lot.

Each of these mistakes has its own proper class of evils.

The man who makes himself everybody is generally an arbitrary man-he is his own standard, and he wants to impose that standard on everyone else—and this is always offensive; for he is looked upon as wanting to impose himself.

Moreover, such a man is sure to be more or less short-sighted-he can never see far away from himself, he can seldom grasp a question in its relation to others he cannot look all round it.

And so he is a man of judgings, and, as is generally the case under such circumstances, a man of misjudgings too.

And there is yet another evil. This undue estimate recoils upon the man himself. Making as much of himself as he does, he thinks that nothing is too good for him-often that nothing is good enough-and, as the world will not take him at his own estimate, he is sure to be continually thwarted, and disappointed, and humiliated; and so, no end of mortifications lie before him in life.

If your trouble, good reader, has come to you by this road, perhaps you will get rid of it altogether, or at any rate of much of it, by lowering your estimate of yourself.

But there are others who make a mistake in quite another direction: they make themselves out to be, as it were, nobody. This cannot be. Somebody each one is himself, and no one else and somebody he must continue evermore. No one can take your place in creation, nor can you take that of anyone else. You have your own position in the eyes of God, and no one else can fill it.

Now, this mistake of making oneself out to be nobody has some very bad effects.

One of these is false humility. There is a humility which is a tower of strength, there is one also which is a source of weakness. It is one thing to have a true humility which would prevent us from taking the highest room; it is another to have a false humility which would make us stay away from the feast altogether, as unworthy to accept the invitation received.

Moreover, if we do not count ourselves as individually somebody, we lose ourselves in the mass; and with the loss of individuality very often goes the loss of the sense of responsibility.

And this is why men will do as corporations, societies, churches, nations, what they never would do as individuals, as those with personal responsibilities.

There is a common saying, true, though somewhat coarse, which exactly expresses this state of things. It is said of corporations that they have neither souls to be saved, nor bodies to be kicked.

In corporations and large bodies of which a man is a unit-an individual member-all that may be left to him, is the liberty to protest; but if he is to recognise the responsibility of his individuality, this he must do-everyone must give an account of himself to God.

We must take up the standing of our individuality. We must realise the I, the ego, the sum (I am), and that, "as I have an existence connected with others, so also have I one confined exclusively to myself."

"to

Now, in order to do this, we must see that there is a positive and a negative side to our individuality. We shall never have a due estimate of what concerns ourselves personally until we do this. There is a be" and a "not to be" connected with each of us as regards himself, and himself alone. Immense good will come to each of us from realising this; and it is in order that we may get this good that I write these lines.

We pray for a "right judgment in all things," and one is as precious here as in some of the most important affairs and relationships of life; indeed, much of the peace and power of our spiritual and our temporal life may come by our knowing the meaning of these words "For me," or "Not for me," as the case may be.

What it is to realise this, and the good which will flow practically from it, is what I would offer to the reader now. I am quite sure that by a right understanding here, he can be greatly helped.

I look, then, first at the negative side of my individuality. I can see that it has limitations and privations. I-I myself-am under limitations: I am in ways in which perhaps others are not. I may have simply limitations, which may not be privations; or I may have those which are both.

Perhaps I am circumscribed in my powers of thought, or in those powers as acting in any given direction. I may have no talent for mathematics which another man has, or for music, or for art. I may be greatly limited in attaining proficiency in what I enjoy I may not be able to preach, to write, to paint as this one or that; I feel I am limited. I have not the powers, the gifts that this one and that has. If I am called upon to have to do with any of these things, I must do my best as regards each of them that is my duty-but I must do them, whether I like it or not, under the law of limitation, so far as I am concerned. In other words, it is "not for me to excel in this or that.

31

I am not the least afraid of making you idle or

faint-hearted by getting you to recognise what are the limits under which you are to work; on the other hand, I am sure I am being helpful to you, as I hope you will presently see. Do your best in all positions in which you are placed-in everything which it is given to your hand to do-but when you honestly perceive the limitations within which you are to act, then accept them; and, believe me, it will wonderfully help you to know your true position in life, to adapt yourself to it, and enable you to do what you can do, and not lose your time, energy, and patience in trying to do what you cannot do.

I know that there are lazy people who would pervert what I am saying, and make it an excuse for doing nothing, or doing what little they do ill; but everything is liable to be abused.

For each one of us there are unquestionably limitations, and many of us are liable to think ourselves aggrieved thereby. But let us consider for a moment. All nature, all life, is full of this law of limitation. The lofty oak has its limitation, as well as the humble lichen; the one as much as the other, if it could speak, would have to say the words, "Not for me." Voice! sight! strength! limitation meets us in them all-our wisdom is to see where the limit touches us, in mind, body, or estate; and to accept it, as far as we individually are concerned-what is, is; and is so for

me.

No doubt this may meet us in the way of privation, and it does, too. In fact, limitation often involves privation. Well, if it do, we must accept it, none the less.

If I have but one leg, I am certainly a limited individual in many respects. Unquestionably I cannot hop well, neither can I dance, nor run; moreover, I cannot go the excursions which others do: that privation is for me. It is not for others (except my companions in wooden legs), but it is for me. My wooden leg and I are inseparables. I have no business with other people's legs. It is their lot to have two; it is mine to have only one, and I have to do with myself. A two-legged life is "not for ME."

I have nothing to do now with the question why it should not be; I am only concerned with what is. If you want to go into the question why it should not be, you are for going into depths where I cannot follow you. I confess I am unable to go into the depths of Divine providences and arrangements. I am puzzled continually with the differences which I see in human lots. If I had not a belief in Divine sovereignty and providences-in the wisdom, and goodness, and justice of God-all to be vindicated in the long run, I do not know what I should do. I have to do with what is, and not with what might be, or might have been.

But there is a positive as well as a negative side to this "for me." If there is that which is "not for me,' there is also that which is "for me." Each one has his own peculiar gift or gifts-each one has his own peculiar alleviation. These are his, for him as a single person-an individual-himself and no one else before God, and in the world.

No one is passed by, no one is entirely unendowedof those possessed with reason-of those for whom I

write. The individuality of those who are not possessed of reason I leave with God. He knows the mystery of their being; and we may safely leave all connected with it with Him. Thank God, we are not called upon to solve the mysteries in creation.

I have to do with myself in this matter-what have I-what is given to me, to comfort me, to compensate me, to give me a place and position and power in the world? If there be a great deal which is not for me, surely there is something that is for me, which is mine -my very own. It is "for me."

Now, the effect of this realisation will be very useful upon both our outward and our inner life.

It will make us take a conscious place in outer life. The world is made up of individuals, and I am an individual. I am a part of the world, therefore I have to play my part in the world.

No one should allow himself or herself to be shelved -put aside, unless absolute retirement is for him the plain providence of God. If it should be so, then in that retirement he will be taught, if he wish to learn, what is, and what is not, for him.

"Me" involves in it a sphere of some kind in which your individuality is to manifest itself; and that will save you from the depressing feeling of being nobody. In one sense, and a very important sense, you have no right to consider yourself "nobody." There is something for you to do, and be, and you should do and be it.

This is one benefit that will accrue in outer life from your recognising yourself. There is another which I should mention, before I speak of the great blessings which accrue to the inner life.

You will be kept from wanting to take a place in life for which you are not perhaps fitted, for which you were never designed, or for which, however well fitted naturally, you are not destined in the providence of God.

You will be kept from jostling other people; you' will pursue your own path; and you will be savedwho can tell how much loss of time and strength, how much failure, vexation, and sorrow?

But what I want to dwell upon chiefly is the immense benefit which will come to us hereby in our inner life.

To be able to say, "This or that is not for ME,' is to have a very calming and sustaining influence operating on the mind. It will make us feel settled. The matter is decided, so far as I am concerned. A calm often follows the settlement of a matter, even though that settlement has not taken exactly the form which we should have chosen. We are something like David: when the child was alive, and there was a possibility of its recovery, he fasted and wept; but when it was dead, he rose up and ate and drank-he accepted the inevitable. While things are in doubt, and we do not know which way they will turn, we are often agitated, unsettled-nothing is accepted-and this can only be met by our putting ourselves into the hands of God, determined each one to accept what is or is not to be for him ("for me," or "not for me").

And when, as is many times the case, we are not to have what we wish to have, and it may be another

This will save us also from making many mistakes in action. We sometimes want to go into spheres and embark in enterprises which are not for us at all. They are for others, but not for us. It does not follow that because a thing is good, it is good for me-that because another is called to do it, I am called also.

Sometimes a Christian admires such and such a work, and he thinks that, because it is good in the abstract, he must go into it, and he does so, and finds out his mistake by his failure. him at all.

It was not for

At times a man makes foolish imitations-innocently enough, but foolishly-and if only he knew how to use the words "Not for me," he would be saved from much of the annoyance and ridicule and absurdity which flow from his folly.

I can imagine a man being fired with the eloquence of some great preacher, and, with no gifts at all similar to his, endeavouring to follow him. He has a certain measure of power in his own sphere, he certainly has that which God meant him to have. He has none in the other man's sphere-it was not for him; he may at first say so with a sigh, but there are "gifts differing," and these words will bring him back to the use of his own. He will travel far and well in his own little shoes; he would only have tumbled and floundered about in another man's seven-leagued boots.

When a man has learned to say, "This and that are not for me," he is helped much also in the way of concentration. Concentration is power, and the lopping-off of extraneous diversions gathers a man in upon what he himself is really to do or be. That sphere, that work, is not for me, therefore I dismiss it from my thoughts as a sphere of action, I gather in my mind upon that which I have to do.

Contentment also travels by this road. We often half-fret ourselves away by discontent. We thrust our personality into other people's affairs and positions, and are vexed because they are not ours. But I myself have really nothing to do with such and such a man's honours, or riches, or whatever it may be that is envied; my discomfort arises from trying to fit together what are not meant to be fitted. "Not for me," rightly said, would get rid of it all.

And this would ennoble us. Peace would come into our hearts, pettiness would depart from them. We should seek for power in our own sphere, and to be what we can be in it. We should be our own real selves; and no man can be otherwise than weak when he is anything else. We shall live our individuality, our me before God, and we shall feel the conscious relationship between Him and us.

Yes! this will give us a nearer personal life with God. We shall be living in the consciousness and the acceptance of His will; we shall not be striving

with Hin because of our limitations, whether of mind, body, or estate; we shall have learned, like the apostle, in whatever state we are, therewith to be content. The fret which is so disturbing to the divine life we shall be free from, and our peace will be that of the accepted will of God.

Our individuality will be a balanced one. "Me' will be put in its right place, and power and peace will flow therefrom. We shall know what is our business, and do it; we shall know what is our sphere, and fill it; we shall recognise what is outside our appointed circle, and leave it.

And we shall be kept from judging others unduly. and often wrongly.

Sometimes we blame them because they do not plough with our heifer, because they do not embark in this and that in which we are embarked, because they do not see things exactly as we do.

How do we know but that these various things are not for them? We perhaps are forcing them into a sphere which is not theirs at all. Their own Master has appointed them their own work and place, and to Him they stand or fall. Attend to what is manifestly appointed for you, and I am sure that in most cases this will be enough for you.

There were two clergymen talking one day, and one of them said to the other that, owing to health, he found great difficulty in attending certain services in the church. The other did not denounce him as some rigorous clerics might have done, but said to him, with the sweetest of Christian smiles on his face: "Then those are not God's means of grace for you." Ah! how much more charitable, how much more discriminating, should we be, if we remembered that there are weak and strong in body, and in mind, in the Church of God. There are Boanerges and Barnabas, there are those who are weak and cannot eat all sorts of meat, and there are strong ones who can eat anything, and each stands by himself before God.

It was not for Moses to enter the Promised Land, though he was to lead the children of Israel up to it. It was not for David to build the Temple, although he made preparation for it. It was not for the ancient prophets to see the day of Christ, though they earnestly desired it. "Not for me" is a voice not of to-day, or yesterday, but of the far-off ages which have past.

One word more. The dispensations for the individual, the ME," may be different at different times, but the individual is ever to be kept in view. What may be for ME to-day may not be for ME to-morrow. And yet there is no inconsistency in the dealings of God. Evil came to those who had no changes. Ephraim was a cake not turned, and therefore worthless.

The one great thing is this: to be certain, each one of us, that he lives before God as an individual, that he is himself, and can be only himself before Him; that for him it is ordered what he is to have, and be, and what he is not to have, or be. That will be his strength and peace, and, perhaps, enable him to say with a smile what he otherwise could not have said, save with a sigh-" NOT FOR ME."