Images de page

24th of twins, a boy and a girl, the latter still-born. the extraordinary age of 103, his brother and sis. She has left nine sons and three daugh:ers; of ter died when their united ages reached 175 years; these four were born at two births.

and he has left two sisters and a brother, whose 27. At Ramsgate, the Rev. John Owen, Rector united ages amount to 265 years! of Paglesham, Essex, preacher at Park Street At Ashford, near Newrath Bridge, John Chapel, London, and Secretary to the British and Magee, Esq. proprietor of the Dublin Evening Foreign Bible Society.

Post. 28. At Edinburgh, Marjory, eldest daughter of In the Island of St Nevis, John Higgins, the late James Bonar, Esq. Solicitor of Excise. Esq. in consequence of a wound received in a duel

-- At Leghorn, Dr. Benjamin Welsh, of Had- with Walter Maynard, Esq. President of that dington.

Island. 29. At Tayside, Perth, Margaret, eldest daugh- -- At Rome, in his 70th year. Cardinal Rigante. ter of William Dawson, Esq.

- At Islay House, Margaret Susan, infant -- Suddenly, while on a visit to his sister, the daughter of Walter Frederick Campbell of Shaw. Countess of Mansfield, at Scone Palace, the Rev. field and Islay, Esq. M.P. Dr. Markınan, Dean of York.

At Demarura, John Prince Smith, Esq. Bar. - At Bridge of Teath, near Doune, Mr. James rister-at-law, Second Fiscal, and King's Advocate Murdoch, aged 86.

of the united colony of Den arara and Essequibo. 30. At St Andrew's, Robert Key, Esq. aged 90, – On board his Majesty's ship, Morgiana, on late merchant there.

the coast of Africa, from excessive fatigue in the - At Sunnybank, Haddington, Hay Donaldson, discharge of his duty, Mr Colquhoun M'Lean, eldEsq. W.S

est son of Donald M Lean, Esq. W.S. Lately. At Rome, Cardinal Charles Andre Pel- - In her 14th year, Jane, youngest daughter la gaile, a red 66.

of Donald M'Lean, Esq. W.S. - At his brother's house, Leghorn, Mr John - Off the south-eastern coast of Newfoundland, Crokat.

Charles Adolphus Baker, Esq. commander of his - At Glenalbert, on the estate of Dalguise, in ajesty's sloop Drake, which was lost upon a danher 10 dth year. Mrs Margaret Low, widow of gerous point on that coast, with one-third of the James Steuart, Esq. of Tulloch, Dear Blair. Her


It was in attelnpting to rescue the latter husband was a Captain in one of the Atholl regi. from destruction, and in persisting to superintend meats, under Lord George Murray, and carried their preservation on a rock which they had gain. the royal standard of Prin Cha Edward, at

at gallant and humane officer lost his the battle of Culloden, in 1746.

life. He was the second surviving son of William -- At Hazlehead, Ulpha, Cumberland, Mr. Wil- Baker, Esq. of Bayfordbury, in the county of llam Jackson, aged 94 years. His father attained Hertford.

[blocks in formation]

Elements of Save-all-ism; or, an Introduction to the noble Science of sifting

Cinders. Abridged from the popular WorkTM of Professor Gunthred Bumgroschen.

“ Even in our ashes live their wonted fires." In proportion to the growth of our this country, and whose multifarious population, and the increasing effici. Observations on the Manners, Cuse ency of its cause--the means of sub- toms, and Literature of England, are sistence-we shall jog on merrily, or, now in the press, once remarked, that in more direct terms, increase and mul- in walking through the principal streets tiply. But it has been philosophically of this metropolis, particularly in the demonstrated, that the supply of pro- great avenues leading from Hyde-Park vender, at present excessive, may in Corner and Cumberland-Gate, to the an evil hour fall short, and consequente Royal Exchange, he was inconveniently the rampant principle of popula- ly crowded, and that the pressure did tion will inevitably be paralysed. All not proceed so much from the numtheories, as well as all dogs, have had bers congregated, as from the obesity their day, and the time may come of the separate individuals ; and on rewhen we shall be compelled to attend collecting the macilency of the Parisimore to the calls of the stomach, than ans, he justly inferred, that double the to the "nimble caperings in a lady's number of French people might inhachamber.” Prevention supersedes the bit London, and perambulate its streets necessity of cure, and the principle of without inconvenience. The quality Save-all-ism,+ which is a new disco- and preparation of our food are consivery that cannot fail to crown its au- dered by the Doctor as the cause of thor with honours and emolument, this accretion of adipose matter, wherewill effectually provide for all those by the body is so considerably amplicontingencies which have spread alarm fied; and he proposes to correct and in the mind of Mr Malthus, who has ameliorate our national bulk, by inforeseen the approaching evil, but troducing a considerable reform in the whose intellectual resources never ena, animals on which we feed. At the bled him to discern the remedy. Pro- Christmas season he happened to pay fessor Bumgroschen, who lately visited a visit to Leadenhall-market, which

Urstoffe der Allgemeine Sparsamkeit, oder Einleitung zur edlere Wissenchaft der Aschensiebungslehre. Von Professor Gunthred Bumgroschen. Leipsig: Bei Wolfgang Dummkopf und Sohn.

+ See Beytrage zur Jeremibenthamische Wortferschung und neologische Zusammens tellung von Adam Flickschneider. Vol. XII.

3 U

he describes with equal astonishment experience on this lamentable subject. and sorrow. He particularly bewailed when an individual once subjects himour condition, when he beheld the self to the reproach of being called 'a prize-oxen and sheep so ostentatiously fat-headed fellow,' he becomes a dead displayed in the butchers' shops. As letter in philosophy; and when an unfat is in all cases a morbid accumula- happy wight has puzzled his intellect tion, he laments, in rather indignant with matters above its comprehension, terms, that a society should have been and is verging towards fatuity from formed for its encouragement, and that incessant and infructuous exertions, it prize-medals, and other remunerations, is too truly, though happily said of should be distributed for the propaga- him, that he has worked his brains tion of disease. In order to effect a to an oil.' Thus we trace the germs reform, both moral and intellectual, of the present theory, in the proverbs in this country, he conceives that á and adages of this profound and en. Constitutional Association for the Sup- lightened nation. Study is promoted pression of Fat should immediately

be by the burning of the midnight taper ; formed, to act in unison with the So- hence the ancients kept their lamps ciety for the Suppression of Vice. constantly lighted; so true is it, that

He next adverts to the domestic the human mind becomes improved in inconveniency of fat, and affirms it to proportion to the consumption of fat. be a common topic of complaint among Descending from the mysterious source the gentry of England, that the house whence thought originates, let us take is too sinall for their accommodation, a view of the body when choked and so that they are constantly changing, obstructed by this lardaceous incumand yet every man's dwelling apart- brance. Behold the gentleman conments are in general better than his verted into a beast of burthen, and company. The professor is perfectly compelled to be the porter of his own convinced, that by a reduction of bulk offal grease, to the healthy standard, double the * Like a fat Alderman, on a Lord Mayor's number of inhabitants might be com

Day, fortably accommodated in each dwell- That straddling struts ing; and he is equally well assured, After his guts, that the different church-yards and For fear they should break loose, and get other cemeteries might, on the same

before him.' principle, have been kept free from the All his muscular energies are clogged ; various inconveniences complained of his respiration resembles the puffing in the majority of parishes. He pre- of unserviceable bellows; his skin exscribes a remedy for this evil in the udes an oleaginous slime, and the red course of his lucubrations.

ray of his blood is converted into purIn a subsequent chapter, Dr Bum- ple.” [This beautiful and felicitous groschen enumerates the intellectual, climax, is at least equal to any passphysical, and moral inconveniences of age from the Athenian orator, as renobesity. From this part of his inte- dered by the Edinburgh Reviewer.] resting work we shall endeavour to The chapter concludes with an aftranslate a page or two, as a specimen fectionate lamentation on the invincie of the elegance and beauty of its com- ble propensity of the human species position, propitiating the reader's in- to indulge their appetites to an inordidulgence, in consideration of the dif- nate extent, notwithstanding Dr Kitficulty of transfusing eloquence from chener’s meagre receipts for gipsey puda foreign language into our own,-a ding and pauper soup. This culinary difficulty conspicuously exemplified in writer, although not particularly coma late number of the Edinburgh Re-mended by Professor Bumgroschen, is view, containing an article on Demos- nevertheless placed by him at the head thenes.

of the Bubble-and-squeak school, which “ When fat accumulates in the vis title is obviously designed to extend to cinity of the brain, a long farewell to the Doctor's musical compositions, and the creations of genius and the refine- certainly no double application could ments of taste. Of this consequence be more apposite and happy. the English are so acutely sensible, In the last chapter, or Essay, as it is that they possess two proverbial ex- termed, are concentrated the Professor's pressions, which strikingly record their views on Political Economy. This part of his luminous work, which willed by half-snivelling dependants ; but doubtless be attentively perused by all the gloom at this sorry sight was most the eminent statesmen and philoso- fortunately enlivened by the presence phers in Europe, is entitled, “ On the of a new-married couple, who were Posthumous, or rather Post-obituary, nothing loath to pass the honey-moon [nach gestor bene] Employment and in a mourning-coach : Utility of the Human Species.” The Sighs to amorous sighs returning, basis of this system here developed, Pulses beating, bosoms burning, rests on the incontrovertible position,

Under the pretence of mourning.' that very few persons, during their “The system of political economy now life-time, contribute in any degree to to be detailed, abolishes for ever this benefit the world they inhabit ; and useless and expensive pomp, this trainthat the true spirit of political economy ed procession for heirs and hypocrites. consists in rendering men serviceable The human carcase is a valuable mass agents to the community, of which of materials, and ought not to be sufthey are members. As it is impossible fered to undergo a useless decomposito condense this part of the work, we tion in a deep grave, commencing, like shall attempt a translation ; and al. Tybalt, when green in earth with 'fesa though we despair of conveying the tering in its shroud,' and then dwindauthor's meaning in language at all ling to dust : it is capable of beneficial comparable to his own chaste and ele- employment, and available for supplygant phraseology, we trust that our ing the wants of others; it may be version will be sufficiently perspicuous made to advance science, to promote for the comprehension of the intelli- civilization, and contribute to national gent reader, who may bring it to the happiness and prosperity. When the test of comparison, whenever he has vital spark is decidedly extinct, the the good fortune to meet with the ori. body should be conveyed to the anaginal, the very original work. tomical hall, that the cause of death

“When death supervenes ; which may be detected, and the morbid apis to be considered the consummation pearances preserved and deposited in of terrestrial existence; when the heart the public Museum. The scientific disa ceases to pulsate, and the last sigh is sectors should be sworn to inviolable heard; when the eye no longer twinkles, secrecy, excepting to the medical perand the muscles are rigid; when cow- son who attended the patient ; because, ardice and envy brand the defunct as ninety-nine out of a hundred depart with every vice to which he was a stran- this life from causes never suspected ger, and friendship bewailing, lauds by the physician, the disclosure of these the virtues he never practised ; when appearances to the relations, would inthis state of things has ensued, let his fallibly bring this noble faculty into enemies blast his reputation, and his deserved contempt, and degrade the relatives commemorate and cherish his regular practitioner to a downright imperfections, it will be amusement, or postor. emolument, for the living; and the de- “After medical science has derived the ceased is alike insensible to both :- fullest information from the inspection but the Remains must be the pro- of the body, it is to be delivered over to perty of the state. At present, they the College of Arts and Manufactures, constitute no species of property ; but, to be employed for the benefit of the on the contrary, occasion à consump- community. Its conversion to these, tion of valuable materials. One patri- not base, but honourable uses, will be cian carcase is slowly dragged from progressive, according to the following London to Newcastle, conducted by a series. The skin is first detached, unjovial gang of undertakers,-fellows der the inspection of a committee, dewho undertake to appear sorrowful (a puted from the skinners', saddlers', and wonderful talent !) amidst perpetual leather-sellers' companies, and by them tippling, and who have learned to crack consigned to a respectable body of tanjokes on the road, with a mournful ners and curriers, for adequate clean. countenance. On a late occasion, lu- sing; after which, it is to undergo a gubrious to her political partisans, and regular course of bark, in order to be a felicitous event to the nearest of kin, converted into leather. The more dethe frail remains of a mighty she-mo- licate hides of ladies will form wash leanarch were carried by land and by wa. ther, for the purpose of making gloves, ter into the heart of Germany, follow- free-masons" aprons, spreading of blis


ters, tying over marmalade and pickles. while living, as we have already ex. These uses, however, imply females of plained, but a valuable accumulation a fair complexion : the brunettes must for posterity, and convertible to the submit to be tanned. Thus, in a con- important purposes of health through vent of nuns, the transparent skins the medium of cleanliness, and to the might be manufactured into the whitest advancement of morality by the difvellum, and form a library of illumi- fusion of light. A part of this fat, I nated missals ; while those of a deeper propose, with the addition of barilla, tinge would bind up Moore's Anacreon, to convert into soap; and I am perthe works of Sir Charles Hanbury suaded that England alone would afWilliams, La Pucelle d'Orleans, and ford sufficient to keep all the world last, but not least, Don Juan. The pro- clean, including the Jews, and the jected History of England, to be com- sisterhood of the Blue Stocking. What piled by a dancing-master, should be a delightful reflection for the corpuwritten on parehment prepared from lent of both sexes, that their fat will the integuments of the members of the eventually come into play! How Society of Antiquaries, who, of course, charming the anticipation of these will die off faster than the work can be melting moments! A new state of written ;-each skin to be stamped with things will arise; females, who wore the name of the owner, and his addi- stuff gowns and flannel shifts out of tion of ASS. The parchment from a economy, will now be apparelled in termagant or scold converted to its ap- white muslin; the beau will not be propriate use, the covering of a drum, compelled clandestinely to take cleanwill infallibly perpetuate her memory, liness by the collar alone; the sailor and therefore become more alarming will abandon his check, a heavy check than

on personal purity_and clean shirts • The cock's shrill clarion or the echoing and smocks will become the order of

the day. The fat of simpletons will The Professor now exults, and sube furnish soft soap; step-fathers and sequently softens.

step-mothers, hard soap. Russia tali. The skin of my enemy shall be low will fall fifty per cent, and a gecome the materials of my shoes, that neral illumination will make no perI may tread him under my feet; or it ceptible drain on the pockets of inshall form the covering of my saddle, dividuals. Part of this fat (for there that I may ride triumphantly over will be plenty to spare both for poma. him; but my travelling-companion's tums and the various ointments), will shall be converted into a portmanteau, found a new gas-light company, and and still continue my viaticum. My the whole metropolis will be flooded friend shall line my pockets, and my with a deluge of light. There will mistress become an under-waistcoat, be no obscure corners for the transacto be worn-by him who was always tion of fraud or indelicacy. If a miser loving her-nearest, as Shylock has drop a pin in the street, he will be enait, (curse him for his felicity of un- bled to recover it; every man will adopted expression), nearest his

nearest his know his own wife at night: indeed heart.'

night will be so much like day, that “ A few strips of leather from the fashionable people will not be able, as hide of a satirist ought to be platted formerly, to turn one into the other ; into the thong of a whip, and become and the only inconvenience to be apa scourge to posterity; and a fellow prehended, will be the frequent occur. convicted of cruelty to animals under rence of ophthalmia from excess of the act passed last session, should fur- light; but an antidote for this evil nish harness for a donkey: a sus- may be provided by giving Mr Grey picious listener should supply gilt lea- Bennett a lucrative office, to prevent ther for the door of a private aparte him from pouring the cataract of his ment, and the Opposition Members invective on Sir William Adams. of Parliament be manufactured into “Man being deservedly placed at the bellows, to fan the fuel from whence head of the animal creation, presumes arises Freedom's holy flame.' that his structure is the most perfect,

Leaving the superficies of the hu- and that his body therefore is comman carcase to its multiplied utility, posed of the best materials. At prewe now penetrate into the regions of sent, there may be some difficulty in fat, a noxious mass to the individual advantageously disposing of the musa

« PrécédentContinuer »