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Ance tasted, dooth maruellously encrease a moystie appetite, which Bacchvs receaued very thankfully,

The fourteenth was called Hodge Heauiebrecch; he came from Miserga, a citic in the confines of Persia. Hudge by his occupatio:2 was a cardmaker, who, for the zeale he bad to god Bacchvs, and all good fellows, offered vp to him that renowned Ruffler, the knaue of clubs, with a box of trim-trillilles, commonly called, the dice; the one to aide him in a needeles coinbat; the other, after his losse, to serve bim instead of recreation.

The fifteenth was one Maudlen Moonface, a mery gentlewoman of Dublin, a citie in Ireland; with her she brought a glasse ful, nose high, of Aquauitæ, the operation whereof is no less monstrous than marueilous; fur, being drunk in a morning, it so warmeth the heart, as if the body were in a bath, whose inward heats, when they begin to bud forth, transform themselves into goosbery-grapes to be seen most plainely as vnder a vizard of glistering glasse.

The sixteenth was a pleasant Parthian of the stately citie Catompylon, called Loblurchall; this youth was a feate fellow, and a fine faulkner; with him he carried a water-wagtaile, readie to flie' at the fairest goose in Winchester ; which present god Bacchvs accepted very gratefully.

The seventeenth was borne in India, at a fair eitie called Tyndis ; this forsooth, was a coy dame, called Cate Crashpot; she came clincking a quart pot for sweet musicke, instead of the tabret, to which maner of melodie god Bacchus listned exceedingly.

The eighteenth was one Baudwin Barrelbelly, from Ormusa, a place sufficiently knowne in the ile of Cyprusse; with him he brought a firkin full of wine of Basterdes, assuring god Bacchus on his fidelitie, that so many as he made thereof partakers with him, as long as they applied themselues to the harty carouse, should neuer be haunted by death, and faile footing.

The nineteenth came from Garma in Æthiopia, called Goody Goodale; sbe in token of pure deuotion) deliuered to Bacchus a sack full of groute, and a sack full of hops, standing stoutly in this opinion, that the barley-broath, aboue all other, did bcare away the bell

, and that neither grape nor berry might in any respect be compared to the maiestie of the mault.

The twentieth was a worthie yeoman, one Tom Tospot; he came from Friburgum, an Heluetian; he, as willing to please himselfe, as 10 honour his god, presented to Bacchus, a dainty deuised compound, of sundry simples pastiewise, as the trimming of tripes, the fat of chitterlings, and the marrow of siveet-souse, lapt vp altogether within the crusty walls of paste-royal, in so much, that a world of bellycheere was cohtayned therein; which god Bacchvs, received with so great thankes, that he promised to honour the cating thereof, with the best increments of his overflowing tanne.

When these had ended their deuotion, they were placed all in order, and vsed as most welcome guests; busie was Bacchvs in vrtering his


bounty, ard the rest of the seruitors no lesse diligent; so that 'no mani wanted his wish, nor was depriued of his will.

Scarse had they tipled gryum-wise *, as commonly the sect of the Surratims vse to doe, as only of triall to wet their whistles; but in comes Bat Barlicap, a mery musitian, ready with cap and knee to giue them a song ; which proffer god Bacchvs accepted gladly; wherupos M. Barlycap tempered up his fiddle, and began as followeth :

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did stare.

Then learn to laffe, carouse and quaffe,
spare not while

you may,
Hey dery, dery, my masters, be mery,

And look for a joyfull day. This song thus ended, the whole hall for joy did ring out a loud lafling-peale, and thanked the fidler for his mirth. Bacchvs made him drink, Silenus bade him not spare, so Barlicap did drink till his eyes

Thus euery man falls to his taske, and hee happie that is able to stand stoutly in the forefront, to giue the brauest onset.

Whiles thus they tipled, the fidler he fidled, and the pots danced for joy the old hop about, commonly called Sellengar's Round ; euery man set to his foot; there was not whip, snatch, and away, but plaine rack and manyer, where euery one dranke himself out of danger; cups and cans went clip clap, the guests were all welcome, their tongues ran at randome, Sir Prattle kept a wrangling, and dame Tattle a great jangling; each one was mery, and no man wanted wordes to solace his next neighbour; to be briefe, heauen was here, and hell where they were not; yea who but the guests of God Bacchys !

Amids these only pleasures, and joys incomparable, lupiter sends down Mercury, to make them pleasant; and Venus, the queen of loue, sent also her son Cupid, to creep in amongst them for kindness, and to lead them along blindfold vnto lust and loathsome selfiking.

Then Pluto the master-diuell of hell, seeing fit opportunity and place conuenient, sent amongst the joyful guests of this feast the furies of hell, who with all speed posted to god Bacchvs pallace, to exercise their hellish outrage.

Now Cupid lingred not out his time, but did driue his dartes amongst them with such force, that some for pure loue wedded themselues to wine; some became sworne brethren to the beere-pot, other some matched themselues only to metheglin; one liked this, another that; all was wonderfull to behold.

Bawdwin Barrelbelly was greatly grieved with loue-gripes, especially through the desire hee had to Goody Goodale, the Æthiopian.

Kit Crabface so ardently burned in the loue of Maudlin Moonface, that well nere he burned himselfe to ashes.

Mercury he cast his eloquence amongst them by horse-loades at once, so that large promises, with no performance, were as easy to be heard, as small bells in a morrice daunce.

Medusa, Megera, and the rest of those furious hags flie al at once in amongst them, and set their teeth on edge to practise villanie one against another; one puls his felow by the beard without cause; another crackes his next fellowes crowne with a quart-pot; one flings a glasse in another mans face, another makes a bucklor of his hat to saue himselfe before, whilst another with a black jack breakes his head behinde; one cries, downe with him, downe with him, not able of himselfe to kill a louse; another lies lurking vnder the table altogether speechless. Here Dauid Drithroat gathered vp his teeth, which Pierse Spendall,

the frier, had lately strooke out, because Dauid, like an unmannerly knaue, presumed to piss in the holy waterpot.

There Gotfrey Grouthead begins to fume, and fometh at the mouth like a sauage bore; hee falls at variance with Mistris Merigodowne, and hales her along by the hair of the head ; in so much, that (thou knave) was as common among them as cartway, or probo in the schooles; and (thou whore) as vsuall a terme, as hait Hary in the mouth of a carter.

Whiles thus they lay on heapes, one on the neck of another, some spurning others with their heeles, some scratching their heads where they itched not; some sprauling vnderneath most glad to rise vp againe; some wiping the blood away from their faces ; some rubhing their shinnes, which they burst on the frames ; some gaping for winde, almost choked with flies; while these, I say, did lie in this so great disorder, the gods aboue were constrained to winke at their follies, and the diuels below reioiced at the viewe of this our mortal! wretchedness,

Thus Bacchvs arose with the rest of his barons, and dismissed euery man very boxntifully; who, after long stumbling, at the last returned from whence they came. And Bacchvs bimselfe retired to Archadie, where, at this day, for his singular liberalitie and bounteous behaviour towards all inhabitants, trauellers, and passengers, he is of power to make a greater companie of able men than any man of his degree.

Et largas epulas & bona vina dedit.





Most gracious Sovereign, CARE

ARE (one of the true-bred children of my unfcigned affection) awaked, with the late wicked and barbarous attempts

, would needs exercise my pen to your sacred Majesty, not only encouraging me, that it would take the whole fault of boldness upon its self

, but also, that even the words should not doubt to appear in your highness's presence in their kindly rudeness : for that, if your Majesty, with your


voice, did but read them, your very reading would grace them with eloquence.

Therefore, laying aside all self-guilty conceits of ignorance (knowing that the sign is not angry with the well meaning astronomer, though he happen to miss his course) I will, with the same sincerity, display my humble conceits, wherewith my life shall be amongst the foremost to defend the blessings, which God, in you, hath bestowed upon us.

So far then, as can be perceived by any human judgment, dread sovereign, you may judge, that the happiness of your present estate 'can no way be encumbered, but by one of these two means, viz,

1st, Either by your factious subjects.

2dly, Or by your foreign enemies. Your strong and factious subjects are the papists. Strong I account them both in number and nature: For, by number, they are able to raise a great army, and, by their natural and mutual confidence and intelligence, they may soon bring to pass an uniting with foreign enemies; factious I call them, because they are discuntented, of whom, in all reasons of state, your Majesty must determine, whether you wilí suffer them to be strong, to make them the better content! or, discontent them, by making them weaker? for, what the mixture of strength and discontent ingenders, there needs no syllogism to prove.

To suffer them to be strong with hope, that, with reason, they will be contented, carrieth with it, in my opinion, but a fair enamelling of a terrible danger,

For, first, men's natures are apt, not only to strive against a present smart, but to revenge by past injury, though they be never so well contented thereafter; which cannot be so sufficient a pledge to your Majesty, but that, when opportunity shall fiatier them, they will remember, not the after slacking, but the former binding; and so much the more, when they shall imagine this relenting to proceed from fear; For it is the poison of all government, when the subject thinks the prince doth any thing more out of fear than favour, And therefore, the Romans would rather abide the uttermost extremities, than, by their subjects, to be brought to any conditions. Again, to make them absolutely contented, I do not see how your Majesty, either in conscience will do, or, in policy, may do it ; since, hereby, you cannot but thoroughly discontent your faithful subjects; and to fasten an unreconciled love, with the losing of a certain love, is to build a house with the sale of lands ; .so

a much the more, in that your Majesty is embarked in the protestant cause, which, in many respects, cannot, by your Majesty, be, with any safety, abandoned, they having been, so long time, the only instruments both of your council and power; and, to make them half content and half discontent, methinks, carries with it as deceitful a shadow of reason as can be, since there is no pain so small, but, if we can cast it off, we will; and no man loves one the better for giving him the bastinado, though with never so little a cudgel. But the course of the most wise, most politick, and best grounded

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