Pluto. You seem very angry, Minos.

Minos.-Oh! it's you, King of Hades. What brings you

here?

Pluto. I have come to tell you; but first, may I know who that lawyer was who has been boring you so learnedly this morning? Can Huot and Martinet be dead?

Minos. No, thank goodness, but it was a young ghost who no doubt belonged to their school. Although he only talked nonsense, he did not say a word without supporting it on the authority of all the ancients, and although he credited them with the vilest expressions, still he granted to each, in quoting him, elegance, charm, and gracefulness. "As Plato elegantly says in his Timeus, Seneca is charming in his treaty on good deeds. Æsop writes gracefully in one of his fables."

Pluto. You describe a downright plague; but why did you allow him to speak so long? Why did you not silence him?

Minos.-Silence him! That's not the kind of man you can stop when he once begins to speak! It was no use my pretending twenty times to get up from my seat; it was no use my saying, learned counsel pray conclude; do stop, Mr. Counsel, I beseech you; he would go on to the end, and had the case all to himself. For my part, I never did witness such a rage for talking; and if this lawlessness continues, I think I shall be obliged to throw up my appointment.

Pluto. It is very true that the departed have never been more idiotic than now. There's not a single shade arrived here for ages that has had any common sense; and, without speaking of the lawyers, I have never met people more senseless than those who are said to belong to Society. They all talk a certain language which they call gallantry; and when we hint, Proserpine and I, that it offends us, they say we are vulgar and quite unfashionable. I have been assured, too, that this pestilent gallantry has infected all the infernal regions, and even the Elysian fields; so that the heroes, and especially the heroines, who inhabit that part are now-a-days the most foolish creatures in the world, thanks to certain authors, who have taught them, they say, this fine language, and who have turned them into languishing lovers.

par mes

de la peine à le croire. J'ai bien de la peine, dis-je, à 'imaginer que les Cyrus et les Alexandre soient devenus tout à coup, comme on me le veut faire entendre, des Thyrsis et des Céladon. Pour m'en éclaircir donc moi-même propres yeux, j'ai donné ordre qu'on fît venir ici aujourd'hui des champs Elysées, et de toutes les autres régions de l'enfer, les plus célèbres d'entre ces héros ; et j'ai fait préparer pour les recevoir ce grand salon, où vous voyez que sont postés mes gardes. Mais où est Rhadamanthe?

Minos. Qui? Rhadamanthe? il est allé dans le Tartare pour y voir entrer un lieutenant criminel, nouvellement arrivé de l'autre monde, où il a, dit-on, été, tant qu'il a vécu, aussi célèbre par sa grande capacité dans les affaires de judicature, que diffamé pour son excessive avarice.

Pluton.-N'est-ce pas celui qui pensa se faire tuer une seconde fois, pour une obole qu'il ne voulut pas payer à Caron en passant le fleuve ?

Minos. C'est celui-là même.

Avez-vous vu sa femme ? c'était une chose à peindre que l'entrée qu'elle fit ici. était couverte d'un linceul de satin.

Elle

Pluton.-Comment ? de satin? Voilà une grande magni

ficence!

Minos.-Au contraire, c'est une épargne: car tout cet accoutrement n'était autre chose que trois thèses cousues ensemble, dont on avait fait présent à son mari en l'autre monde. O la vilaine ombre! Je crains qu'elle n'empeste tout l'enfer. J'ai tous les jours les oreilles rebattues de ces larcins. Elle vola avant-hier la quenouille de Clothon; et c'est elle qui avait dérobé ce drap, dont on m'a tant étourdi ce matin, à un savetier qu'elle attendait au passage. De quoi vous êtes-vous avisé de charger les enfers d'une si dangereuse créature.

Pluton. Il fallait bien qu'elle suivît son mari. Il n'aurait pas été bien damné sans elle. Mais, à propos de Rhadamanthe, le voici lui-même, si je ne me trompe, qui vient à nous. Qu'a-t-il? Il parait tout effrayé.

Rhadamanthe.- Puissant roi des enfers, je viens vous avertir qu'il faut songer tout de bon à vous défendre, vous et votre royaume. Il y a un grand parti formé contre vous dans le Tartare. Tous les criminels, résolus de ne plus vous

I find it very difficult to believe, to tell you the truth. I say I find it very difficult to believe that the Cyruses and Alexanders have suddenly turned into Thrysises and Celadons, as they tell me. To clear it all up and see for myself, I have given orders for the most celebrated of these heroes to be brought here from the Elysian fields, and all the other regions of Hades; and I have had prepared for their reception this great hall, where you see my guards are posted. But where is Rhadamanthus ?

Minos.--Who? Rhadamanthus? He has gone to Tartarus to receive a noted high-sheriff, newly arrived from the other world, where he was, they say, as celebrated for his great capacity in judicial affairs as he was disgraced by his excessive avarice.

Pluto. Was not that the man who well-nigh got killed over again because of a penny that he would not pay to Charon when crossing the river?

Minos.-That's the man? Did you see his wife? The entrance she made here was quite a picture. She was dressed in a satin shroud.

Pluto.-What? Satin? How extravagant!

Minos.-On the contrary, it was economical, because all that finery was nothing else but three presentation essays sewn together, which had been given to her husband in the other world. Hateful ghost that she is! I am afraid she will poison all Hades. Every day my ears are worried by her thefts. The day before yesterday she stole Clotho's distaff, and it was she who purloined that cloth about which I was so bothered this morning from a cobbler whom she waylaid at the ferry. What were you thinking of when you burdened Hades with such a dangerous creature?

He

Pluto. She was obliged to follow her husband. could not have been properly doomed without her. But about Rhadamanthus ? Here he is coming to us, if I do not mistake. What is the matter with him? He looks quite frightened.

Rhadamanthus.-Powerful king of Hades, I come to warn you that you must really think about defending yourself and your kingdom. There is a great party risen against you in Tartarus. All the criminals, determined to obey you no

obéir, ont pris les armes. J'ai rencontré là-bas Prométhée avec son vautour sur le poing; Tantale est ivre comme une soupe; Ixion a maltraité une furie; et Sisyphe, assis sur son rocher, exhorte tous ses voisins à secouer le joug de votre domination.

Minos. O les scélérats! il y a longtemps que je prévoyais ce malheur.

Pluton. Ne craignez rien, Minos. Je sais bien le moyen de les réduire. Mais ne perdons point de temps. Qu'on fortifie les avenues. Qu'on redouble la garde de mes furies. Qu'on arme toutes les milices de l'enfer. Qu'on lâche Cerbère. Vous, Rhadamanthe, allez-vous-en dire à Mercure qu'il nous fasse venir l'artillerie de mon frère Jupiter. Cependant vous, Minos, demeurez avec moi. Voyons nos héros, s'ils sont en état de nous aider. J'ai été bien inspiré de les mander aujourd'hui. Mais quel est ce bonhomme qui vient à nous avec son bâton et sa besace ? Ha! c'est ce fou de Diogène. Qui viens-tu chercher ici ?

Diogène. J'ai appris la nécessité de vos affaires; et, comme votre fidèle sujet, je viens vous offrir mon bâton. Pluton.-Nous voilà bien forts avec ton bâton!

Diogène. Ne pensez pas vous moquer. Je ne serai peutêtre pas le plus inutile de tous ceux que vous avez envoyé chercher.

Pluton.-Eh quoi! nos héros ne viennent-ils pas ? Diogène.-Oui, je viens de rencontrer une troupe de fous là-bas. Je crois que ce sont eux. Est-ce que vous avez envie de donner le bal?

Pluton.-Pourquoi le bal?

Diogène. C'est qu'ils sont en fort bon équipage pour danser. Ils sont jolis, ma foi; je n'ai jamais rien vu de si dameret ni de si galant.

Pluton.-Tout beau, Diogène! Tu te mèles toujours de railler. Je n'aime point les satiriques. Et puis ce sont des héros pour lesquels on doit avoir du respect.

Diogène.-Vous en allez juger vous-même tout à l'heure car je les vois déjà qui paraissent. Approchez, fameux héros, et vous aussi, héroines encore plus fameuses, autrefois l'admiration de toute la terre. Voici une belle occasion de vous signaler. Venez ici tous en foule.

Pluton.-Tais-toi. Je veux que chacun vienne l'un après

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Colloquial French.

35

longer, have taken up arms. with his vulture on his hand; Tantalus is as drunk as a lord; Ixion has misbehaved himself; Sisyphus, seated on his rock, is exhorting all his companions to shake off the yoke of your domination.

I met Prometheus down there

Minos-Oh the scoundrels. I had foreseen this evil for some time past.

Pluto. Fear nothing, Minos. I know how to stop them. But we must lose no time. Fortify the approaches. Double the guard of my furies. Arm all the troops of Hades. Loose Cerberus. You, Rhadamanthus, go directly and tell Mercury to bring the artillery of my brother Jupiter. Meanwhile Minos, you stay with me. Let us review our heroes, and see whether they will be of any use to us. It was a good thought of mine to send for them to-day. But who is this old fellow, coming towards us with his stick and sack? Ha! it is that madman, Diogenes. What do you want here?

Diogenes. I learnt what difficulties you were in; and, as your faithful subject, I come to offer you my stick.

Pluto. Much the stronger shall we be for your stick! Diogenes.-You need not be so sarcastic. I shall not, perhaps, be the most useless of all those you have sent for.

Pluto. What! are not our heroes coming?

Diogenes.-Yes, I have just met a troup of fools down there. I believe it was them. Do you feel inclined to give a ball?

Pluto. Why a ball?

Diogenes. Because they are in just the trim for dancing. Pretty, indeed; I have never seen anything so dainty and gallant.

Pluto. Softly, Diogenes! you always want to be jocular. I do dot like scoffers. And then they are heroes for whom one ought to have some respect.

Diogenes.-You shall judge for yourself presently; for I already see them approaching. Come then, famous heroes, and you also heroines still more famous, once the admiration of all the world. Here is a fine opportunity to signalize