Clelia.-Yes, my lord; I admit you that I have for Aruntius a soft impeachment which is akin to true love, and I must confess that the admirable son of the King of Clusium has, in all his person, something so uncommon and so inconceivable, that unless one had an exceptionally hard heart, one could not help cherishing for him a quite reasonable passion. For really

Pluto. For really, for really. . . . Let me tell you that I have for all mad women an inexplicable aversion; and even if the son of the King of Clusium had an unimaginable charm, with your inconceivable language, you will do me the pleasure to take yourself off, you and your lover, to the devil. At last, she is gone. Oh, dear! nothing but lovers! a regular epidemic, and one of these days we shall see Lucretia flirting.

Diogenes.-You shall have that pleasure presently, for here is Lucretia herself.

Pluto. I was only saying that for fun; God forbid that I should have so low a thought of the most virtuous person in the world!

Diogenes.-Don't be too sure. I think she looks very coquettish. My word! her eyes are precious saucy.

Pluto. I plainly see, Diogenes, that you do not know Lucretia. I wish you had seen her when she first entered this place, dishevelled and reeking in blood. She held a dagger in her hand, her look was wild, and rage was imprinted on her features despite the palor of death. Never was any one more chaste than she. But to convince you, we have merely to ask her herself what she thinks of love. You shall see. Tell us, Lucretia, but explain yourself clearly; do you think it right to love?

Lucretia (holding tablets in her hand).-Must I really give you a precise and decisive answer on that subject?

Pluto.-Yes.

Lucretia. Here, then, you will find it clearly enounced in these tablets. Read it.

Pluto (reading).-"Always. one. if. but. loved. eternal. alas. love. to love. sweet. it. not. would be. is not. how it." What on earth is all that gibberish?

Lucrèce. Je vous assure, Pluton, que je n'ai jamais rien dit de mieux ni de plus clair.

Pluton.-Je vois bien que vous avez accoutumé de parler fort clairement. Peste soit de la folle! Où a-t-on jamais parlé comme cela? "Point. mais. d'éternelles." Et où veut-elle que j'aille chercher un Edipe pour m'expliquer cette énigme ?

Diogène. Il ne faut pas aller fort loin. En voici un qui entre, et qui est fort propre à vous rendre cet office. Pluton.-Qui est-il ?

Diogène. C'est Brutus, celui qui délivra Rome de la tyrannie des Tarquins ?

Pluton.-Quoi! cet austère Romain qui fit mourir ses enfants pour avoir conspiré contre leur patrie? Lui, expliquer des énigmes ? Tu es bien fou, Diogène.

Diogène. Je ne suis point fou. Mais Brutus n'est pas non plus cet austère personnage que vous vous imaginez: c'est un esprit naturellement tendre et passionné, qui fait de fort jolis vers, et les billets du monde les plus galants.

Minos. Il faudrait donc que les paroles de l'énigme fussent écrites, pour les lui montrer.

Diogène. Que cela ne vous embarrasse point. Il y a longtemps que ces paroles sont écrites sur les tablettes de Brutus. Des héros comme lui sont toujours fournis de tablettes.

Pluton.-Hé bien! Brutus, nous donnerez-vous l'explication des paroles qui sont sur vos tablettes ?

Brutus.-Volontiers. Regardez bien. Ne les sont-ce pas là? Toujours. l'on. si. mais." etc.

Pluton.-Ce les sont là elles-mêmes.

Brutus.-Continuez donc de lire. Les paroles suivantes non-seulement vous feront voir que j'ai d'abord conçu la finesse des paroles embrouillées de Lucrèce; mais elles contiennent la réponse précise que j'y ai faite :

"Moi. nos. verrez. vous. de. permettez. d'eternelles. jours. qu'on. merveille. peut. amours. d'aimer. voir."

Pluton. Je ne sais pas si ces paroles se répondent juste les unes aux autres; mais je sais bien que ni les unes ni les autres ne s'entendent, et que je ne suis pas d'humeur à faire le moindre effort d'esprit pour les concevoir.

Diogène. Je vois bien que c'est à moi de vous expliquer

Colloquial French.

51

Lucretia. I assure you, Pluto, I have never said anything more exquisite or more plain.

Pluto. I see plainly that you are accustomed to express yourself very clearly. A plague on the crazy lass! Where did one ever speak like that? "Not. But. if. eternal." And where does she expect me to find an Œdipus to explain that riddle?

Diogenes.-You will not have to go far. . Here is one entering, now, who is just the man to do you that service. Pluto.-Who is he?

Diogenes. It is Brutus, he who delivered Rome from the tyranny of the Tarquins.

He

Pluto.-Who? that austere Roman who had his sons put to death for having conspired against their country? explain riddles? You have lost your senses, Diogenes.

Diogenes.-Not I, nor is Brutus that austere being you imagine he is naturally of a tender-hearted and loving disposition; he writes sweetly pretty verses, and the most gallant epistles.

Minos.-The words of the riddle must be written then, to be shown to him.

Diogenes.-Don't let that trouble you. long since been written on Brutus' tablets. are always provided with tablets.

Those words have

Heroes like him

Pluto.-Well! Brutus, can you explain to us the words that are inscribed on your tablets?

66

Brutus. With pleasure-look! are not these them? 'Always. one. if. but." etc.

Pluto.-Those are the very same.
Brutus. Go on reading.

The following words will not only prove that I at once caught the meaning of Lucretia's intricate expressions; but will also contain the exact answer that I returned to them:

"Me. our. shall see. you. of. allow. eternal. day. that one. wonder. can. love. to love. see."

Pluto. I do not know if those words correspond exactly to one another; but I see plainly, that none of them can be understood, and that I am not in the humour to make the slightest mental effort to unravel them.

tout ce mystère. Le mystère est que ce sont des paroles transposées. Lucrèce, qui est amoureuse et aimée de Brutus, lui dit en mots transposés :

"Qu'il serait doux d'aimer, si l'on aimait toujours!

Mais, hélas! il n'est point d'éternelles amours.

Et Brutus, pour la rassurer, lui dit en d'autres termes transposés:

"Permettez-moi d'aimer, merveille de nos jours;

Vous verrez qu'on peut voir d'éternelles amours.” Pluton.-Voilà une grosse finesse! Il s'ensuit de là que tout ce qui se peut dire de beau est dans les dictionnaires; il n'y a que les paroles qui sont transposées. Mais est-il possible que des personnes du mérite de Brutus et de Lucrèce en soient venues à cet excès d'extravagance, de composer de semblables bagatelles ?

Diogène. C'est pourtant par ces bagatelles qu'ils ont fait connaître l'un et l'autre qu'ils avaient infiniment d'esprit.

Pluton.-Et c'est par ces bagatelles, moi, qui je reconnais qu'ils ont infiniment de folie. Qu'on les chasse. Pour moi, je ne sais tantôt plus où j'en suis. Lucrèce amoureuse! Lucrèce coquette ! Et Brutus son galant! Je ne désespère pas, un de ces jours, de voir Diogène lui-même galant. Diogène. Pourquoi non? Pythagore l'était bien. Pluton.-Pythagore était galant?

lui

Diogène.-Oui, et ce fut de Théano sa fille, formée par à la galanterie, ainsi que le raconte le généreux Herminius dans l'histoire de la vie de Brutus; ce fut, dis-je, de Théano que cet illustre Romain apprit ce beau symbole, qu'on a oublié d'ajouter aux autres symboles de Pythagore: que

"C'est à

pousser les beaux sentiments pour une maîtresse, et à faire l'amour, que se perfectionne le grand philosophe."

Pluton. J'entends. Ce fut de Théano qu'il sut que c'est la folie qui fait la perfection de la sagesse. Oh! l'admirable précepte! Mais laissons là Théano. Quelle est cette précieuse renforcée que je vois qui vient à nous ?

Diogène. C'est Sapho, cette fameuse Lesbienne qui a inventé les vers saphiques.

Pluton.--On me l'avait dépeinte si belle ! Je la trouve bien

laide!

The mystery is that they are transposed words. Lucretia who is in love with, and loved by Brutus, says to him in transposed words:

"How sweet t'would be to love, if one could love for ever! But alas! there is no everlasting love."

Then Brutus, to comfort her, says in other transposed words:

"Let me but love, O marvel of our age,

And you shall see that love can be eternal."

Pluto. -What a poor device! It is evident from that piece of wit that all the fine things which can be said are already in the dictionaries; the only difference is that the words are transposed. But can worthy persons like Brutus and Lucretia have really gone so absolutely wild as to compose such utter trash?

Diogenes.It is, however, by that very trash, as you call it, that they have both proved themselves to be exceedingly clever.

Pluto. And by that trash, I notice that they are both demented. Off with them. For my part I am beginning to feel quite lost. Lucretia in love. Lucretia flirting and with Brutus too! I do not despair of seeing Diogenes himself making love one of these days.

Diogenes.-Why not? Pythagoras did.
Pluto.-Pythagoras made love?

Diogenes.-Yes, indeed, and to Theano his daughter forsooth, trained by him to gallantry, as is related by the good Herminius in the account of the life of Brutus. It was, I say, from Theano that that illustrious Roman learnt this grand axiom, which by an oversight was not added to Pythagoras' other maxims: that

"What makes the perfect philosopher, is uttering soft sentiments to a lady, and making love.'

Pluto. I understand. It was from Theano that he learnt that insanity is the perfection of wisdom. Oh, wondrous precept! But never mind Theano now, and say who is this outrageous blue-stocking coming towards us?

Diogenes.-Oh! that's Sapho, the famous Lesbian poetess, who invented Saphics.

Pluto. She has been described to me as Why she is quite a fright.

so beautiful.