THE VIČAR IN SYNOD-PLAN ARRANGED.

353

tendants withdrew, leaving us in peaceable possession. I now expected to be summoned before the magistrates, and, receiving a letter with S- post-mark on the Wednesday next, I had no doubt but it was to call me up. However, it afforded me no small satisfaction to learn from this epistle, that the father of the gentleman in office, having been an attentive observer of our whole service, sent for his son afterwards and observed to him-'I was very sorry to see you interrupt those quiet people, and I most heartily wish you had stayed the whole of the meeting, as I did. I am persuaded the people are loyal and inoffensive, and what the gentleman preached was truly scriptural, and perfectly agreeable to the homilies and Prayer-book of the Church of England; and I do think that, instead of proceeding against them, you should rather make some apology for your conduct.'"

On another occasion he met with a reception far more fierce. This was organized by the vicar of the place and his churchwardens, in synodical vestry assembled, demonstrating thoroughly the entirely political tendency of the 'Church and State' wherever it is rampant. The vicar himself headed the ecclesiastical malcontents, by supplying them copiously with strong beer from the neighbouring public-house. These were the glorious days of clerical High Caste. The whole occurrence he appears soon after to have thrown into the following verses :—

'Assembling crowds with eager steps combine,

To hear the joyful sound of grace divine;

To hymn the Saviour's praise, His power to sing-
Lord of each lord, and King of every king.

The favour'd village in that manor lies,

Where ancient Bruce's column climbs the skies.
There, by the green sward, as you pass along,
An aged tree, till now unfamed by song,
Such as Zaccheus worshipp'd in of old,2
Bestow'd its ample shade to screen the fold;
Its pious arms, a youthful tribe upraise,

To hear the truth, and sing their Maker's praise.3

"These worldly alliances exercised a prejudicial influence over the two forms of Protestantism in England. Whenever a system of religion subjects itself to a political system, it forfeits its exalted aims, its liberty, and its vitality; its real shape is lost, and it becomes embarrassed and enslaved. Vital Christianity did not expand in the Establishment as might have been expected from a church which had its Latimers and Ridleys; and the worship of the State was attached, on the contrary, to forms and ceremonies which assimilated it in some degree with royalty."-D'AUBIGNÉ.

2 "A sycamore tree."-LUKE, xix. 4.

3 A great number of boys ascended the tree, and sat on the huge spreading branches.

Oh! I have seen cathedrals less sublime,
And many an orchestra, full many a time.
God's heralds now appear-the poor exclaim,
'Bless'd are they who come in Jesus' name!'
But list, O heavens, and all the earth give ear!
Angels and men, with deep amazement hear,
While my indignant muse depicts a scene,
Perform'd by demons in the dress of men.
The authors of the piece, the audience know,
Received much aid from Beelzebub and Co.,
Who, after matins, with the synod sat,1
'Debating to and fro what to be at ;'

For Rumour said, 'Behold, they come to town,
By whom the world is turned upside down!'
Our craft will be exposed,' the chairman said;
'Our temple's glory in the dust be laid;
Our wealth, our power, and our magnificence,
Will be despised, unless we drive them hence.
Wardens! pronounce your thoughts, what must be done
We must not, will not, let these men alone,

Or, down they'll pull our Church, stone after stone.
Not Church alone, but Church, and King, and State,
Will follow soon the Jewish temple's fate.

Our triple grandeur, levell'd with the ground
Shall be, and not one vestige found.

Gamaliel says, "From all such men refrain."
Gamaliel, for that speech, should have been slain.
For while that speech of his on record stands,
Zeal's mouth is gagg'd, and manacled her hands.
But for his counsel, she a thousand times
Had taken holy vengeance on the crimes
Of such erratic aliens, who subvert
Revered authorities, and do assert

That they, forsooth, are authorized to preach
In all the world, and every soul to teach!
Presumptuous cant! But who can stay the tide
Of error, while Gamaliel is to guide?

They say he was a "Doctor," that might be ;
But not a doctor of divinity-

Unless he smuggled o'er a Scotch degree!
And "had in reputation," too. Pshaw, pshaw !
And so is Doctor Solomon, ha! ha!
Away, then, with Gamalielism,

Big with false doctrine, heresy, and schism.
And, in less ancient history if we look,
We read of Popes in every page, who took
The besom of destruction; sweeping off
From the endanger'd body all such scroff.

A vestry-meeting was held.

2 At this period, the sale of "Solomon's Balm of Gilead" was as extensive as that of the late "Morison's Pills,"

THE VICAR HEADS THE ARTILLERY OF BACCHUS.

Tortures and flames our Mary, too, supplied
For those in England who the faith denied ;
But now, alas! those rights are set aside.

Our racks, our whips, our thumb-screws, now no more,
Are banish'd Britain to some holier shore;
The fires of Smithfield all extinguish'd now,
And nought is left to make the stubborn bow.
Therefore consult, and on that plot revolve
Which most in mischief may our foes involve.'
The vestry then they left, but all were found,
Punctual to time, on the appointed ground.
When praise was ended, as the prayer began,
A bellowing fury, something like a man,
By matchless mimic of an ass's bray,
Open'd the prologue of the infernal play
Projected in the morning of the day.

The next in fame, the huntsman of the pack,
That gentleman behind the tree in black,
Then tried each art, reproved each dull delay,
And roused the sportsman's full-mouth'd 'Harkaway!'-
A charming anthem for the Sabbath-day!
Are these the acts of which collegians boast?
Are such the inspired of the Holy Ghost?
Blush, Learning, blush! thrice blush, 'Divinity!'
God's foolishness makes wiser men than ye-
Makes fools more wise than some who write 'D.D.'
How sapience reddens when her priests are known
By graduation only, band or gown!

The hierarch may ape that power of heaven,
Which never was, nor will to man be given,
To nominate ambassadors from God,
And send them forth with arrogated nod.
But the GREAT BISHOP, God's anointed ONE,
Will place His mitre on the head of none.
No palms but His the sacred oil contain,
No other unction penetrates the brain

Or consecrates the heart. Hail, Power Divine !
No ordination craves my soul but THINE.

But not alone by shouts did they excite;
Strong drink was given to fit their men for fight.
A hired few thus sanctuarized begin

To persecute this way' with impious din.
In drunken clamours worship now was drown'd;'
The parson wink'd, the wardens grinn'd around.
Vain was remonstrance, reason none would hear,
Some crazed by bigotry, and some by beer;
Resenting all that Scripture had to say,
'Away!' they cry, 'with all such fools away!
We want you not. Our parson's wise and good;
If he can't tell what's right, we pray who should?

1 Lord Sidmouth's Act was passed soon after.

355

As we with him, he is with us, content-
And who are you to come and cry repent?
Such doctrine does our parish a disgrace.
Depart, insulting rascals, from our place!
Repent, indeed! why, what have we then done?
Ye men of spirit, help, help every one.
Do God a service, each man cast a stone;

For 'twill be thought, from what these babblers tell,
We're worse than Jew, or Turk, or infidel!
We can no longer bear such vile reproach—
Ye navigators, overturn their coach!'
This was their predetermined morning's plan
(I had it from a friend, a vestryman).
The hireling staggerers, as a sidelong wave,
Obedient to their charge, against us drave;
But He whose everlasting arm of yore

Succour'd His servants, now their burdens bore.2
E'en those half-drunken dupes, beguiled to sin,
Now nearly sober, to desert begin;

And, disregarding former compacts, rise,
And threaten midnight to their leaders' eyes.
One bulky hero, with his massy fist,
Whose prowess none dare offer to resist,
Begg'd us to let him pulverize our foes:

Our prayers, however, saved them from his blows.
But where's the classic demagogue, where's he?
Skulk'd, reconnoitering there, behind the tree,
With grief he view'd his men desert and fly;
But soon he subsidized his old ally,

Brave Bacchus, who from neighbouring cellar drew
His dread artillery, and our hopes o'erthrew.
Plainly to speak, a public-house stood near,
From which were borne large cans of heady beer,
To drive effectually the small remains

Of reason from those poor trepann'd men's brains.
This stratagem eclipsed Apollyou's art—
A grand manoeuvre worthy Bonaparte.
Temptation, smiling, sat upon the froth,
All sanctified by virtue of the cloth;
And now again, glass after glass they fill:
'Come, come, and welcome, come whoever will.
Ho, every one! ye thirsty, all draw nigh;
Without or price or money, come and buy.
Wide open all your mouths !-oh taste and see

Your friend's unparallel'd philanthropy.

Come, loyal souls, here's to the "CHURCH AND KING!"

With three times three make all the parish ring!

Huzza, my boys! another bumper take,

And drive the other down for Charlotte's sake.

1 The early name for our present "navvies," originally employed in exca vating the canals of the country.

2 The minister's little boy, about ten years of age, stood up and gave out a hymn at this threatening aspect of affairs. This appears to have had the marvellous effect described in this passage.

ANOTHER BUMPER.

-"THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE HEDGE."

357

Bravo, my bucks! again, again, again!
Our constitution, sirs! amen, amen!

The cans all out?-go, fill them then again.'
Thus, like the herd of old by demons driven,

To flood more fatal these poor swine were given.

Choked by the poison'd element, they sunk :

THINK OF THE RECKONING, YOU WHO MADE THEM DRUNK!"

This energetic evangelist had been, when a young man, a keen sportsman and a first-rate shot; and there were but few places in those counties in which he was preaching, of which he had not an intimate knowledge, a fact which, on one occasion, stood him in good stead. He thus writes :— "When the service began, a constable with a warrant from a neighbouring magistrate requested that some of us would go with him to the squire. Two of our respectable friends accompanied him, while Mr. E. and myself were left to conduct the worship. Shortly after another constable came with a second warrant, to take up the preacher. Mr. E. was just quoting his text—'Go ye into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.' 'You must go with me, sir,' said the man, stepping up to him; however, the preacher continued. The constable then took him by the coat, exclaiming still louder, 'You must go with me, sir;' but Mr. E. was determined upon delivering his message. To prevent further confusion, I went up and begged to look at his authority, which he very civilly showed me, Mr. E. still proceeding. I asked him 'In and for what county. was this warrant issued?'' Hampshire, sir.'—'Do you know the division of the counties?'-'Yes, sir.'- Tell me, then, in what county is the preacher now standing?' The man paused and smiled, and, looking somewhat foolish, observed, 'He is upon the right side of the hedge, sir;' for he was actually standing in Berkshire, while his congregation was in Hampshire, the line of demarcation which separates the counties being between them. I do not know that my knowledge of geography was ever more serviceable to me or to my friends than on this occasion. The gentle constable stood and heard the whole of the discourse, and seemed as much interested in it as any of the company."

On other occasions, we find him encountering the same settled hostility from the guardians of the law as of the Gospel. In fact, at this era the State and the Church pulled furiously together against what Puseyite dignitaries still call "schismatics." On the passing of Lord Sidmouth's act in favour of dissenters, we find this noble-minded Englishman resolutely reading a lesson of law to a magistrate who had refused to administer the oath as required by the act. After much difficulty, an interview took place, and the following dialogue ensued: