'A gracious God did not get me safe through. My master sent the other apprentice to investigate the matter. The ironmonger acknowledged the giving me the shilling, and I was therefore exposed to shame, reproach, and inward remorse, which increased and preyed upon my mind for a considerable time. I at this time sought the Lord perhaps much more earnestly than ever, but with shame and fear. I was quite ashamed to go out; and never till I was assured that my conduct was not spread over the town did I attend a place of worship.

'I trust that under these circumstances I was led to see much more of myself than I had ever done before, and to seek for mercy with greater earnestness. I attended prayer-meetings only, however, till February 10, 1779, which being appointed a day of fasting and prayer, I attended worship on the day. Mr. Chater, of Olney, preached, but from what text I have forgotten. He insisted much on the necessity of following Christ entirely; and enforced his exhortation with that passage, Heb. xiii.: 'Let us therefore go out unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach.' I think I had a desire to follow Christ; but an idea occurred to my mind upon hearing those words which broke me off from the church of England. The idea was certainly very crude, but useful in bringing me from attending a lifeless, carnal ministry, to one more evangelical. I concluded that the church of England, as established by law, was the camp in which all were protected from the scandal of the cross, and that I ought to bear the reproach of Christ

among the dissenters; and accordingly I always afterwards attended divine worship among them.

'In a village near that in which I lived were a number of people who had drank deeply into the opinions of Law, and other mystics. I had heard of these people, but knew none of them. After some time, and after, by reading some few books, I had formed to myself what I thought a consistent creed, one of these persons, the clerk of that parish, sent me word that he wished to have some conversation with me upon religious subjects. I had been informed that he was a great disputant, and violent in his temper; but I at that time thought every thing in the gospel system, as I had received it, so clear, that I had no hesitation about meeting him; I had also a stock of vanity which, though then unperceived, prompted me to dispute with any one who would dispute with me. I therefore promised to meet him. At the appointed time a heavy rain prevented our meeting; but this only made me the more anxious to embrace another opportunity, which soon occurred. In about six hours' warm dispute upon various subjects, in which he frequently addressed me with tears in his eyes, in a manner to which I had been unaccustomed, and controverted all my received opinions, which I still think were in the main the doctrines of the gospel, I was affected in a manner which to me was new. He proved to my conviction that my conduct was not such as became the gospel, and I felt ruined and helpless. I could neither believe his system of doctrines nor defend my own. The conver

sation filled me with anxiety; and when I was alone this anxiety increased. I was by these means, I trust, brought to depend on a crucified Saviour for pardon and salvation; and to seek a system of doctrines in the word of God. This man and I frequently met, and he generally left with me some of Law's writings, or something in that strain. I have always thought that this man was really possessed of divine grace, and still think so.

'Some old christians in the village where I lived had frequently taken me by the hand, and communicated their own experience and feelings to me, which had much encouraged me. But after I had conversed with this man once or twice, and they knew that I read books which he lent me, all began to suspect that I leaned to erroneous opinions, and for a long time said but little to me.

"The minister whose preaching I attended (Mr. Luck) was but ill qualified to relieve my spirit, or to clear up my doubts: I therefore sometimes attended at Northampton; sometimes on Mr. Deacon, at Road; and sometimes on Mr. Scott, at Ravenstone; but was always in an inquisitive and unsatisfied state. During this time the people at Hackleton formed themselves into a church, and I was one of the members who joined it at that time; but I never was witness to the ordinances being administered there, except the sprinkling of an infant by Mr. Horsey, of Northampton, might be so called. About the time of that church being formed there was a considerable awakening, and prayer-meetings were more than ordi

narily attended. A sort of conference was also begun, and I was sometimes invited to speak my thoughts on a passage of scripture, which the people, being ignorant, sometimes applauded, to my great injury.

"When I had been apprenticed about two years my master died. This involved me in some pecuniary difficulties, as I purchased the remainder of my time, and was also obliged to work for lower wages than usual, on account of my imperfect knowledge of the business. This occasioned me to labour very hard, and kept me very poor. Some circumstances relating to my temporal concerns are so impressed on my mind, and the spiritual experience they gave rise to so imprinted on my soul, that I can never long lose sight of them: they produce in me a mixture of trembling and thankfulness. I thought these seasons very painful then; but it was better with me than it is now.

'One circumstance I may mention, because it was the introduction to others which I must not pass over. Not having the circular letter to refer to, I cannot say in what year it was, but you will recollect. At the Association at Olney, when Mr. Guy preached from 'Grow in grace,' &c., and you in the evening, the very first time that I heard you, from 'Be not children in understanding;' I, not possessed of a penny, that I recollect, went to Olney. I fasted all day because I could not purchase a dinner; but towards evening, Mr. Chater, in company with some friends from Earl's Barton saw me, and asked me to go with them, where I remember I got a glass of

wine. These people had been supplied once a fortnight by Messrs. Perry, Chater, and Raban, in rotation. Mr. C. advised them to ask me to preach to them; in consequence of which, about a fortnight afterwards, three persons came to ask me to preach at Barton. I cannot tell why I complied, but believe it was because I had not a sufficient degree of confidence to refuse this has occasioned me to comply with many things which I would have been gladly excused from. I went to Barton; and the friends asked me to go again. Having thus begun, I continued to go to that place for three years and a half. I generally went on the Lord's-day morning, and returned at night, as the distance was but about six miles. Soon after this was known, the few people at Paulerspury, my native village, asked me to preach to them once a month. This was ten miles; but as I had the pleasure of seeing my parents, I went. On this occasion I frequently went to Towcester in the day, to attend Mr. Ready, and afterwards Mr. Skinner, who often gave me much encouragement, and sometimes asked me to preach for him.

'I had remained in the state of uncertainty and anxiety about gospel doctrines already mentioned, till this time; and having so slight an acquaintance with ministers, I was obliged to draw all from the bible alone. Mr. Skinner one day made me a present of Mr. Hall's* Help to Zion's Travellers; in which I found all that arranged and illustrated which

The father of the celebrated Robert Hall.