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TAIK 1 moar looc, as the drownin man sed
Wen he cum up fur the 3rd time.
thairs a Vew! (Pets at 18 months.)
Air you struc much? as the litenin sed to the man.
Wot a cus, at a yere & haf, aint he ?
oanly 18 months! wot a chaing, in 6!
taik away the Mezels, & wair is his ekal!
How the Mezels spots a boy tho! How HANAH
laft, wen I ask ef Godfrys Corjal wos good
fur the Mezels! opodildoc maid her agin.
i thinc i tooc sulfer & molasis, but aint shoor.
Pete is pashinitly fon ov Caster ile !
Becos i supoas it is sech an egspensiv drinc.
He rayther prefers coald Prest ile.
(Worm, with milk: i taik it coald without.)

At 18 months, Babys air a rich site.
With sum atenshun to noas, &c. 4th,
(not moarn a minit in a day at that,)
You ken maik em shine! thayr conversashun
isent wot you may coll instructiv; but
it kind ov melts into a parrens felinks,
& pleses al but uther parrens, with yung 18–
Wich thincs thay aint no grait shaiks after al,
Compaired with sum thayve sene. (HANAN
Herd Missis Lefers say them very werds
to Her Husban, wen thayd ben a collin hear,
Afore thayd farely got to the gait; thay
Hevin 2 or 3 squockers ov thare oan i belere.
Youd thinc twos 4 dozen bi the nois.)
Wen thay git a littel oalder thayre kind ov handy
About a Hous; fedin pigs &c. 4th, fechin watter,
Splittin kindlin wood, & a dozen uther choars.
i shel fele bad the 1st time i wale PETE.
i rely doant no as i ever ken, hese so pooty.
i ges ile let Hanau doo it wen nessary,
& tri & kepe onto the rite side. But
enuf onto that hed, as the man sed wen hede
kild his wife. Muse much ableeged. Fairwel.

Wor doo you thinc ov Pete?

What do you think, reader ?

CRUELTY could no farther go, it seems to us, than in the case of the young German rascal, the other day, in our city. He had swallowed three or four counterfeit bills, 'on a sudden,' and when he was taken to the station-house, no proof of guilt was found upon him; but a cunning official administered to his inner man two powerful emetics; and after a short time, lo ! the spurious currency made its appearance among the débris of a luxurious dinner, just achieved at a fashionable restaurant. How worser' far than the awful nausea marina must have been that medicinal operation.' Who can depict the reversed motions of his stomach, or the émotions of his mind! He was in as bad a 'fix' as the man who wrapped around his legs, under his 'over-alls,' sheets of zinc, stolen from on board a ship, where, with an accomplice, he had been at work putting down the leaden carpeting upon the cabin-stairs. In walking across the shore-plank, at night, by some unavoidable accident, 'accoutred as he was,' he plunged in the dock.' He did not reäppear. "Get a boat!' exclaimed the by-standers: “the tide is going out: run to the end of the dock! He'll come up !- he'll come up!' His companion, whose own drawers were of the same “heavy goods,' shook his head mournfully, and exclaimed, “Never ! — he's gone!' and the "why and the

wherefore,' so well known to the thieving prophet, was distinctly shown, when the body was subsequently discovered. The friend who tells us this, says he never heard such expression given to a word before — NEVER !' But speak. ing of bills, and thinking especially of the unrolling of the undigested counterfeit lumps aforesaid, we are reminded of a circumstance once mentioned to us by an 'Old Country'legal friend. If we remember rightly, it was Lord Eldon who was presiding upon the bench of a London criminal court, before whom the incident occurred. A man was upon his trial for the murder of a man who was found dead on Hampstead Heath; and a bullet in his body showed the manner of his death. He had been last seen in company with the prisoner; but as there was no other testimony bearing against him, he stood with unabashed front before the judge, and smiled in ridicule at the attempt of the King's counsel to convict him of the homicide. Lord Eldon was holding in his hand, and listlessly rolling between his fingers, the ball which had been extracted from the body. Presently he beckoned to an officer to approach the bench, which he did: when his lordship inquired in an under-tone, if the man had been searched. “He has, your lordship; but no money was found upon his person; nor is it known that the deceased had any money in his possession, þeyond about a sovereign in change. The only thing we found was part of a street-ballad, from which a large piece had been torn.' 'Let me see it,' said the judge. It was handed to him by the officer. In the mean time, in manipulating the bullet between his fingers, his lordship detected a piece of blood-dried paper: moistening, and gradually unrolling it, it was found to be a three-cornered piece of a street-ballad; and on comparing it with the torn ballad which had been laid before him, it was found to fit exactly, and to complete the whole! This piece of paper, which had formed the wadding of the gun, was at once put in evidence; the man was convicted; and afterward made a full confession of his crime. We have never heard a more extraordinary confirmation of the truth of the saying, that 'Murder will out:' and it is an incident well confirmed.

From far-off Desmoines, in the late' State of Iowa, and from the auditor's office thereof, 'cometh greeting' the following bill, exhibiting the fact that the writer, a German wagon-maker, repaired a wheelbarrow, and put a hoop on an old oaken bucket that hangs in a well’ thereby. It is a literal orthographic specimen of the sweet German accent:' DESMOINES the 3 of May 1858.

Dr. *Januar the 25 ei repert a Weehlbarrow for the Staat of Iowa 1.50 and but a Hoobband on for a Weellpocket

1.75

John N. HOUBERGER, Wagon-maker.' "Seem-lich goot,' as our correspondent says: but here is a similar bill that *knows not seems' — it is good. It was rendered by two Italian 'bust'-ers, for heads of WASHINGTON and SHAKSPEARE, which they had “sculped' for the late lamented Philip HONE: Mr. Hvox, SQUAR, TO JULIAN G• Busto VACCENTON,

82.00 • Busto GUISPIER,

2.00'

25

.

R, Dr.

Pronounce the Italianized names quickly, and the 'intent of the bill’ will readily be discovered.

Burns has exhausted the Poetry of the Tooth-Ache, we think: and teeth-extraction seems to be a theme incapable of raising the divine afflatus.' We pity but slightly the writer of the crying lines to My Tooth. Instead of repairing to such emincnt dentists as Dr. ELEAZER PARMELEE, or Dr. NEHEMIAH Dodge, our correspondent betakes himself to an operator' of the old-school, who uses the old-fashioned instruments. Observe the result: "The time had come: I sudden oped * He gave a turn, I gave a yell,

This mouth of mine, when in there went And then he gave me one turn more: A TURNKEY! Oh! but I had hoped Another screech, and then I fell —

He would not use that instrument: Fell sprawling flat upon the floor! But 't was too late to argue now;

I thought he'd torn my jaw away I glanced at him – he glanced at me: I toid him so: he said, 'O pshaw!' Big drops of sweat were on my brow, I vowed he had - but all he'd say, Upon my tooth a big Tursker!

Was: ‘Looko' here, none of your jaw!" It was a fortunate accident, no doubt, that he did n't leave a portion of the sufferer's jaw in the fangs of his instrument of torture. Such things have been, and not long ago. - - A CORRESPONDENT who evidently does not lack the native ore' in his composition, says, among other things, in a note to the EDITOR: * Although held by inexorable fate in my unrising position, I have always had an upward sort of aspiration: I have longed, with a feeling beyond utterance, for that development and expansion which Education imparts to the most common mind.' Then perhaps I might have talked with WASHINGTON Irving and his compeers, (to my mind he has no peer,) not as if telegraphing from an immense distance, but as a friend, consanguineous in the appreciation of divine things' although not in creating or reärranging them; fearing no lack which should disparage a Man in his own esteem. But ah, me! IGNORANCE!- how like the striped garment' and the ‘heel-clog' of physical degradation! It pulls down one's ambition : it is like making one amphibious; putting him under water, yet permitting him to live, and even to see out into the ambient atmosphere, where Mex walk and talk, and enjoy themselves, but not prepared to permit him to breathe their air for a moment. Thus night-mared, do n't you think you would make one struggle for enlargement? And yet, how many thousands are ‘under water,' who long to get out, but who struggle to as little purpose as would LEVIATHAN to escape the ponderous fluid that surrounds him! Don't think me, however, altogether eel or sucker, satisfied with my native mud and cold-blooded companions; for I have lain on the surface a good deal, and secured not a few tid-bits ‘found afloat,' and without the purview of fish content with the stream in which it was their fate to be spawned.' We were not at all surprised to learn, toward the end of this epistle, that notwithstanding the lack of 'advantages,' so feelingly deplored, the writer has 'scribbled,' and been honored by the perusal of his public.' He will do so again, doubtless ; for he writes like one who has thoughts that must and will out.'

Much has been said, but much more 'hinted in the journals,' touching the Lady Lobby-Members at Washington, during the past session of Congress. We hope, for the reputation of the sex, that those reports have been exaggerated. But that the 'gentle creatures' do sometimes improperly meddle with politics, partisan "policy,' and public

and private pecuniary appropriations, there is very little doubt. “T is true, 't is pity, and pity 't is 't is true.' Apropos of this, is an anecdote in point, told us by a New-England friend. Word was sent by Mr. H-, a defeated candidate, to a married lady, (who was supposed to have changed the expected vote of her husband, on election-day, to the opposite party,) to the following effect: “Go and tell Mrs. F—, that I will send her, by the first opportunity, a pair of pantaloons, for her political services.' 'Go and tell Mr. H-' was the reply, 'to send them along at once: do n't forget to tell him that I want a ner pair - not a pair that his wife has half worn out!' This being told to Mr. H — in his store, when it was crowded with customers, did not serve to enhance his equanimity, nor very greatly to lessen his repugnance against female political influence.

Of our friends the 'LITTLE FOLK,' the anecdotes and sayings' which ensue, are authentic: which is more than can be said of at least one-half of the inflated puerilities attributed to children by the would-be imitators of the juvenile contributions, heretofore, to the KNICKERBOCKER. From the far south-west comes the following:

Driving out one day last fall to see a relation of my wife, we took with us the little daughter of a particular friend, a child of some six years old. While my wife went into the house (the family being sick) I remained out in the garden with 'Fan,' and strolling into the summer-house, we sat down. I was whittling a stick and she was sitting alongside of me, very attentively watching the process. After a few minutes' silence, looking up in my face, in her inquisitive way, she asked : 'CHARLIE, what are you cutting that stick for?'

"Oh! just for fun,' was my reply, more to answer the child than any thing else.

"She said nothing for several seconds, but appeared to be intently thinking; evidently revolving some momentous question in her little brain. Finally, with a longing for information on every expressive feature : Well, if you are cutting just for fun, CHARLIE, why do n't you laugh ?'

* Imagine the same question addressed to yourself! I fancy you would have done as I did — said nothing.'

*The following incident (writes a correspondent, a pastor in a distant .downeast' village) is less than a month old : Mrs. L had lost her little pet lamb - her only one of only six summers, by scarlatina. Her neighbor's child, not quite so old, went over to spend a Saturday afternoon hour or two: and as she was the dead Lizzie's play-mate, Lizzi e's play-things were brought out by the bereft mother for her young visitor's amusement; Mrs. L dropping frequent tears at the sight of the familiar sport. ' When at night, and at home, the little girl was going to bed, she asked her mother to let her for once say her prayers alone in her bed-room instead of at the maternal knee : and she did so. Coming back from her brief devotions, her mother said she should like to know what was the reason of her darling's unusual wish. Artlessly, as though a violet could speak, the almost-baby said: “I asked the Lord to give Mrs. L little baby like yours, Mamma, instead of LIZZIE, so she won't cry any more!' But the prettiest part of it is, that the first thing on Monday morning, our sweet little petitioner wanted to "run right over to Mrs. L -'s, to see if the baby is come,' as prayed for! How would this do as an illustration of faith ?'

"The artless utterances of CHILDHOOD: its wild, fantastic imaginings of the incomprehensible,' writes a lady-correspondent from Northern Ohio, ' are a charmVOL. LII.

14

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ing study for the thoughtful observer. A few days ago one of Frank's play. mates, an interesting little boy, whose life had been but a joyous play-time of eight summers, was drowned while skating upon the river. The event brought mournful thoughts to all who were familiar with the circumstances, and to our little Frank was peculiarly suggestive. “Ma,' said he as he sat beside me on the evening of the day, looking earnestly into the fire, 'how long will it take CHARLEY to go up to heaven?'

His little sister, much younger, yet very complacent in her ideas of things, hastily answered : 'Of course he won't go up till after the funeral.'

How could I make plain to those little minds what was yet so incomprehensible to my own?

“How shall I know Charley up in heaven, unless somebody calls him out?' continued my little questioner. I tried to teach him, that he would recognize his little friend in another world. Then,' said he, 'I'm going right up to him and ask him all about it.' .. Amusing themselves one day with the pictures in the large family BIBLE, I over-heard them debating upon one engraving representing the descent of angels. Alice persisted that they were dead people going up;' Frank assured her that they were not, for people did n't have wings to go to heaven. She seemed quite vexed and puzzled at his version : and after a moment's pause, with a most characteristic toss of the head, exclaimed: 'Well, I an't going to heaven 'less I can have some wings.'

'I am often reminded, by these juvenile colloquies, of my own yearnings for the solution of this great enigma of the soul.'

'I HAVE, beside the Baby,' writes a friend nearer home, 'three children: Mary, about six years old; ANNIE, whom, from her way of looking intently at one, and opening and shutting her eyes, we call BLINKER; and FREDDIE, both younger. Not long ago I called BLINKER to take her morning bath: 'Come here, you little HEBE!'

" "Am I HEBE, Papa ? — what's sisser Mary?'
"She's PsychE.'
"What's FRED?'

'I went on, giving names to all the personages for whom BLINKER asked them, until my wife broke in: 'Why do n't you call any body JUPITER ?'

'I replied that JUPITER was a hard case; and enlarged about his sins in the matter of EUROPA, of LEDA, etc. I did not notice that any of the children were listening. The next Sunday Mary came to me: ‘Papa, read us up a whole lot of stories out of the Bible' — to them the treasure-house of all story.

• Whom shall I read about, Mary?'
""Oh! read about Judah.'
" " About Judah! Who was he?'

“Why, the one who turned into a white bull and carried off the lady!' 'Each of the little girls has a “Mrs. Harris,'whom she calls her Julia CURRANCE. Not long ago my wife over-heard them. “Annie,' said Mary, ‘my Julia CURRANCE is taller than yours. She is as tall as the top of the room.'

"My JULIA CURRANCE is as tall as the top of the house,' retorted BLINKER. •• But mine is as tall as the sky,' replied Mary.

BLINKER was not to be put down so. Intently reflecting a moment, and most vigorously winking her eye-lids, she closed the contest thus : ‘But my JULI A Currance is so tall that her head goes through the clouds, and comes up at the foot of God's bed; so she can peek over the foot-board.'

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